I took a fun little trip to the Emergency Room on Wednesday morning after experiencing chest pain and numbness in my left arm all night. After spending the night for observation with many tests (including getting radioactive isotopes injected into my veins, thank you very much) my heart appears to be fine, but the weird painful symptoms persist. Some observations:

• The rubber mattresses now being used on hospital beds gather your body heat and reflect it back at you. And you sweat. A lot.

• The food delivery might be called "Room Service," but it's still sucky hospital food.

• Do they REALLY have to wake you every hour during the night to take your blood pressure? It's 2009, can't this be automated?

• People over six feet tall are too long for gurneys.

• They don't call it a "Cardiac Stress Test" for nothing.

• ALL firefighters and EMTs arriving in the ER are HOT.