Well, here I am on the other side of my "excision of groin mass" procedure, and I am recovering nicely. The Vicodin every few hours certainly makes it bearable. We're pleased to announce that the "unknown mass" was in fact sutures left over from a hernia operation I had when I was a little kid. Can I get some compensation from Memorial Hospital in Hollywood Florida for that?? I must say the staff at Providence / St. Joseph Medical Center were all terrific: friendly, helpful and they truly seemed to care, even though it was crazy busy the day I was there - they must have performed close to a hundred surgeries on Wednesday. Can I just say what an odd thing it is to be fully conscious when you are wheeled down the hall and into your surgical suite? And odder still, being asked to scooch off your rolling bed onto the cold operating table and have your arms splayed out left and right on padded boards like a crucifix. I think having your legs belted down and a mask placed over your face while a Bose Stereo System plays "cool Jazz" really completes the surreal scenario. No, wait, the simultaneous fire alarm test and announcement that mass will be celebrated in the chapel and on the hospital's in-house channel 6 - THAT completes the surreal scenario. A couple of questions: Why do 10 family members feel they must come down to the hospital and sit in the waiting room for one patient? The waiting room (where you also have to wait to be called into the surgical suite, by the way) only seats 25 or so people, so when each patient has 10 visitors waiting on them, it GETS A BIT CROWDED. Also, why shave only two-thirds of a person's groin when it is being operated on? What is the point of leaving hair on the remaining third? Seeing that post-surgery is more frightening than seeing the bloody bandages, in my opinion.