Capsule review: A little too much Hanks (Colin AND Tom), but John Malkovich and Emily Blunt are very good. A fun, witty script with lots of 70s references, so I was in heaven. Pleasantly surprised. Recommended - it’s an enjoyable film.

Capsule review: A little too much Clooney and I’m not a big fan of Jason Reitman, but good performances and a smart script (”I like a party that feels like The Riddler might crash it”). The corporate layoff sadness made me think of one of those films from the Depression that depicted onetime socialites who have become hobos. Really a documentation of our troubled times.

Capsule review: A pretentious independent movie that thinks it’s way hipper and cuter than it actually is. Horrible.

Just when did it become okay to take your kids to a liquor store?!? I stopped at our Pasadena branch of Beverages & More over the weekend and encountered a man & woman pushing a baby in a stroller(!) as well as a father with two rambunctious 6-year-old girls (who proceeded to run away from him, careen around the store and wound up breaking several bottles of wine). Now, I’m no prude, but really, kids have no business being in a store that primarily sells booze. I remember being shocked at the number of children roaming the bars the last time I visited Walt Disney World’s now-defunct Pleasure Island. Seriously, have we become so indulgent of our children that there is there no objection to this?

There’s a “hot new guy” in Riverdale - and he’s not interested in Veronica. Archie Comics gets a new character - the openly gay high school student Kevin Keller. I knew there was a reason I used to read these comic books religiously when I was a wee lad!

Via fivethirtyeight.com - Nate Silver returns, this time to determine the unhealthiest fast food sandwich using math. The chart uses one (1) KFC Double Down as a unit of comparison, though it turns out that the Double Down isn't actually the unhealthiest in statistical terms. (Congratulations, Wendy’s!) Print and save wallet-size for future reference!

Downtown LA is witnessing a profusion of food trucks these days, with cuisine ranging from grilled cheese to Dim Sum. I grabbed lunch from the cleverly named Patty Wagon today, and I think the mini-burgers that I had - with grilled peppers, onions and homemade ketchup - were the best I’ve ever eaten. The ground beef, from grass-fed cattle in Idaho, was unbelievably juicy and delicious. Oh, and the hand-cut fries come in two varieties: sea salt or rosemary and garlic. Hoo-whee!

That’s right, even babies love bacon. “Four Nutritious Servings of Bacon in Every Scoop!”

Philip Jake and I drove up the Central California coast over the Easter weekend, staying overnight in the picturesque town of Cambria. Jake had a great time exploring the beach at San Simeon and the sound of the roaring waves on Moonstone Beach was soothing and relaxing.

Dear Carl’s Jr./Hardees:

A bacon cheeseburger IS NOT a grilled cheese sandwich. It is a bacon cheeseburger. I don’t frequent your restaurants, but I imagine that if I did order a grilled cheese sandwich I would receive a milkshake.

Morons.

My weekend project: filling a 55-gallon drum with emergency drinking water and outfitting a duffle bag with protein bars, first aid supplies, flashlights and batteries, and a cool hand-crank radio that will also charge USB devices. I’m not really an alarmist, but narrowly missing that 8.8 earthquake a week after we left Chile left me feeling a little antsy.

Saw Tim Burton’s “Alice in Wonderland” at the Gold Class Cinemas in Old Town Pasadena this afternoon. I am astonished that this is the number one film around the world for weeks. It’s dreary, dreadful and contains surprisingly conventional storytelling, with zero tension and absolutely no sense of whimsy or “wonder.” I could not have cared less about any of the characters or any part of the story. A wasted Johnny Depp alternates between a Scottish brogue and his “Jack Sparrow” accent, and Helena Bonham Carter is mildly interesting as the Red Queen, but she is given far too little to do in this mess of a film. Glad to see that Crispin Glover can still get employed in Hollywood, though! The whole thing feels like a rehearsal for Mr. Burton’s coming remake of “The Wizard of Oz,” and it really does call to mind the horrible “Return to Oz” film produced by Disney in 1985. Like his main character in this mess, the director clearly has “lost his muchness.”

From the 1975 Sears Catalog - horrific prints on nylon clothing. Just what your son always wanted! I think I had the red check print - bought new in the summer for the coming school year.

Cheeseburger topped with everything from Pie 'N Burger in Pasadena.

Now who wouldn’t like to know where the black box is prior to takeoff? I do like this new branding campaign by South Africa’s Kulula Airlines, which also divulges facts like the “secret agent code” for the aircraft, but admittedly some of the more obvious labels are a little too cute by half.

“The Poseidon Adventure” comes to life!

From Time Magazine:
“It was like something out of a Hollywood disaster movie. On March 3 a cruise ship sailing in the Mediterranean Sea off the northeastern coast of Spain was hit by a sudden wall of water, killing two people, injuring 14 and causing severe damage to the vessel.”

The review of our recent South America trip that I submitted to the Cruise Critic website earlier today:

Ship: Norwegian Sun
Itinerary: Chilean Fjords – Buenos Aires to Valparaiso
Sail dates: January 31 to February 14, 2010

Embarkation:
As several other Cruise Critic members have noted, the Port of Buenos Aires can be chaotic and disorganized during peak boarding times: all taxis and large tour buses enter through one gate and then jockey for position in a huge traffic snarl in order to let passengers out curbside. Additional confusion results from a single sidewalk (with very little signage) that requires passengers to proceed to a luggage intake station through a doorway on the right, then double-back to the actual terminal entrance door on the left. During our embarkation there was very little guidance from NCL staff, who were present on the scene but not active – some had signs in their hands that they held close to their sides instead of up in the air, while others just stood and stared blankly at the pandemonium without the slightest attempt to guide anyone. Once inside the terminal, a long line lead us to passport control, and passengers who refused to queue in single file (cutting the line to visit with relatives and jockey to get a little further ahead) further compounded the chaos. Processing was even halted at one point so that the overwhelmed agents could take a break, but this resulted in even longer lines to leave the port.

Once through passport control, diesel buses carried passengers to the ship, weaving under cranes and through stacks of cargo containers. Reaching the gangway at last, we entered the ship on Deck 5 and faced a very long line in the Four Seasons dining room, where room cards were being issued. As suite guests, my spouse and I were pulled from this queue and separately checked in by staff in the lobby area of the Il Adagio restaurant. After taking photos, we were led to an adjoining room for a one-on-one talk with ship concierge Karin, who asked if there was anything she could arrange for us as we settled in. The one request I had – to reserve a spot in the thermal suite in the spa – was for naught…despite web postings to the contrary, there is no thermal suite on board. As Karin explained, “This is an older ship, and it does not have the amenities you might expect on newer, larger ships.” Indeed.

Ship:
The Norwegian Sun, built in 2001, is a smaller vessel that feels somewhat dated and out-of-touch even though it is relatively new (perhaps this explains a planned dry-dock scheduled for fall 2010.) Public areas are small and a bit on the claustrophobic side, and the awkward deck layout, which is configured around a giant central kitchen area on deck 5, prevents easy walking from venues located at opposite ends of the ship. The atrium features four “Panoramic Elevators” that, after leaving decks 5, 6 and 7, travel the remainder of their journey inside a white tube – hardly “panoramic” at all. There are many rust spots all over the exterior decks of the vessel that are in need of painting, and plastic flowers and Papier Mache rocks abound – no fresh flowers were to be seen. The daily newsletter is laughable – frequent misspellings, incorrect information, and page after page devoted to getting you to spend money on jewels, artwork, massages and excursions. I know these elements are part of the cruise line revenue stream, but honestly, NCL goes above and beyond any acceptable levels of advertising when 6 front-and-back insert pages are spent trying to pry your money from your pocket. Separately, the passenger composition on this South American itinerary was largely comprised of travelers from France, Germany and Latin America, and as a result, I observed willful disregard for the rule against smoking in individual cabins and public areas despite admonishments from the crew. Indeed, when walking down the halls of decks 9 and 10, the cigarette smoke coming from cabins was so thick that it would make me cough out loud. I saw several cases of plumbing problems – for example, on embarkation day inside cabins 0129 and 0329 were flooded so badly with sewage that carpets were pulled up, odorizer was sprinkled on floors and giant fans were in place for at least 2 straight days.

Serious customer service issues exist on this ship. Bartenders and bar staff are competent and friendly (especially Marvin in the Observation Lounge), but much of the food service team seems to be preoccupied with socializing with each other – when interrupted from this pastime they are often surly and occasionally downright rude. When we got up to take a look at a breakfast fruit buffet in the Four Seasons main dining room, one server admonished us to sit down immediately and barked, “Let us do our job and you do yours!” During the mandatory lifeboat muster, our station leader - an onboard entertainer named Alan - practiced his dance steps while the drill took place. At the same time his station partner informed us, "Remember you are at Muster Station R. You know what Station R stands for? R is for rich. Like you.” (Presumably because this station is a meeting point for suite guests.)

On a positive note about the crew, Concierge Karin is a very hard worker who aims to please. I’ve read complaints on CC that “she is never at her desk,” but in reality this is because she is constantly in motion, running all over the ship to take care of guests. She is extremely accommodating and courteous, and the majority of this crew would do well to model their behavior after hers.

Cabin:
We were booked in Cabin 0265, a Penthouse Suite located aft on the Norway Deck. This cabin is spacious (the photos of the living room area on the NCL website really do not do the size of it justice) and generally well maintained. The bathroom is large, with a separate glassed-in toilet closet (like many cruise ship WCs, this one has a slight smell of sewage), a double-door-enclosed shower, and a Jacuzzi tub that is large enough for a 6-foot tall adult to lie down in. The bathroom has only one sink, however, so washing up and shaving are a one-person-at-a-time affair. Lighting is good in the bathroom, but one minor annoyance: you cannot turn on just one light, say only over the sink - you must turn on all 12 recessed spotlights or none at all (kind of disruptive if you have to get up in the middle of the night). In addition, it sometimes took as long as 15 minutes to get hot water in the bathroom, so if you are in a hurry, plan on a cold shower.

Closet space in this cabin is not as generous as one would expect, especially for a 2-week itinerary. There are lots of drawers, though, and a separate make-up table area in the pass-through closet space between the bathroom and bedroom. The bedroom is nicely-sized, with a very soft marshmallow mattress and a separate set of glass doors that open onto the best thing about this cabin - the generous wrap-around aft balcony, which features room enough for two chaise lounges as well as a table and three regular-size chairs. Watching the world go by on calm sea days makes the investment in this suite worthwhile.

Negatives about Suite 0265: no coffee maker or kettle (let alone the cappuccino machine advertised in most NCL literature describing Penthouse Suite amenities), no in-room Wi-Fi, no extra blankets or pillows without making a special request, and large tube-style Panasonic televisions that are well past their prime, to the point of being nearly unwatchable. A Sony DVD player with surround-sound is outfitted in the living room, but I can't imagine blasting the speakers while watching a movie from the onboard library. A connecting door to the smaller balcony room next door would make this an ideal suite for sharing with kids or another couple, but in our case our neighbor used it for eavesdropping (as he made clear while we were out on the balcony, when he leaned over the dividing barrier and asked about things that had been discussed in private).  Beware: noise (and the odd piece of toast flying off a plate) is also sometimes an issue from the Great Outdoors Café located on the deck above - diners frequently drag their chairs (and tables) as they jockey for position alongside the rails. One saving grace during our cruise was that the cafe space above this cabin is unusable in cold or inclement weather, so the noise factor wasn't as bad as it could have been.

The Penthouse Suite comes with Butler Service - ours was a rather shy man named Orlando.  In addition to bringing ice (and unpacking your clothes if you ask), the butler brings complimentary canapés in the late afternoon and also delivers room service orders (room service in this suite is a complicated affair in which you call the room service number, they hang up, locate your butler, and he calls you back to take the order and subsequently deliver it). I had but one request of Orlando - to supply a bottle of whiskey for evening drinks. I told him I understood that I would have to pay extra for the alcohol, but he gave me a funny look and informed me that I would have to pay for each shot in the bottle individually! When I asked how that could be possible, given that guests can purchase a dozen bottles of wine from NCL without a "per-sip" surcharge. He just shrugged his shoulders and later I received an explanation from the Concierge: It is supposedly a (newly-introduced) fleet wide NCL policy that guests cannot purchase a bottle of liquor onboard, even if they are willing to pay an exorbitant amount for it - apparently because some guests cannot be trusted not to drink it all at once (how this gets around being able to drink a whole bottle of wine at once is beyond me). In any event, it is nonsensical that a suite guest cannot request a bar setup with a single bottle of liquor for the duration of a two-week cruise.

Our Cabin Steward Fidel was perhaps the best we have ever had on any cruise – he visited several times a day and our suite was kept immaculate at all times.


Food:
Overall, the food served on the NCL Sun is consistently mediocre – poorly prepared, sloppily presented and more often than not, reheated from a frozen state. Interestingly, during a casual conversation with the Food & Beverage manager, he revealed that (despite an itinerary with close proximity to some of the best meat and seafood on the planet) none of the protein served on the Sun is fresh. That's right - all steaks, poultry and seafood items are shipped frozen to the ship from Miami because of potential labor strikes from dockworkers and other food providers in South American ports. It’s unsurprising then that the resulting meals are less than spectacular. One thing to remember when dining on this ship – the service staff has been indoctrinated with a set order in which to deliver food, and any deviations or special requests (like a pre-dinner cocktail or an extra piece of bread with your meal) cause confusion and turmoil. Service staff is also not very competent, often mixing up orders and dropping food and utensils - the crashing of plates, silverware and glassware onto the floor is a constant in nearly every dining venue on the Sun. The “Freestyle” concept really is kind of a joke – if you don’t plan ahead, you really cannot eat “whenever, wherever” – walk-up to the desk of a specialty restaurant without a reservation and you will get a blank stare and a “No!” Here then, is a rundown of each of the restaurants onboard:

Concierge Lounge: Our first dining experience on the Sun was lunch in the Concierge Lounge, set up in the Il Adagio specialty restaurant. Warning signs that a bad meal was forthcoming appeared right away: our waiter was shuffling his feet and singing to himself, even while taking our order, and the tablecloth was stained with food from a breakfast that had been served earlier that morning. I asked for a Diet Coke and 20 minutes later received a Beck's Beer in a bottle. I asked again for a Diet Coke, and this time received a Pepsi in a can. After my third request for a Diet Coke, our server informed me that they only have Pepsi on NCL (first time anyone ever told me), so I said “Okay, let me have a Diet Pepsi then.” 42 minutes and $2.24 later, I received the one and only soda that I had onboard. My lunch consisted of a Caesar Salad that would be best described as a few leaves of Romaine lettuce floating in two cups of salad dressing, followed by cold and inedible hamburger "sliders" and French fries that were still partially frozen. I skipped it.

Breakfast is offered in this venue as an amenity for suite guests, and the service was admittedly better than this first meal, but you have to know how to order. If you want a regular amount of cheese on your omelet, specify “extra cheese,” otherwise the omelet arrives dry. If you want your English muffin toasted, you must specifically ask for it to be done.

Teppanyaki: During the check-in process, Concierge Karin encouraged us to make a reservation for the Teppanyaki specialty restaurant, because "once everyone on the ship hears about how good it is, you won't be able to get a reservation." We took her advice and made a booking for our first night on ship. After our party of four was seated at the 12-person grill, we placed an order for cocktails. A couple of the requests (a gin martini, a blended margarita) seemed to vex the waiter - a hunch that was proven true when the drinks did not appear until 52 minutes later. After being served soybeans, soup and a salad, our two teppanyaki chefs appeared - making nervous jokes and fumbling a bit as they started juggling knives and spatulas over the steaming hot grill. I had just remarked to my brother-in-law that "This can only end badly..." when one of the chefs lost his grip on a twirling spatula and it sailed across the grill and hit my spouse square in the chest, covering him in food and sauce. After he excused himself from the table amid gasps from our fellow diners, the chefs proceeded to juggle raw eggs, which they also dropped with splats onto the floor. Everyone at the grill grew visibly agitated at becoming the next victim, and I said, "Maybe we should stop the juggling and proceed with the cooking." No one laughed. Neither did I when my spouse returned and the maître d' failed to compensate him for the $25 meal surcharge - instead she offered a complimentary t-shirt cleaning (even though he was wearing a dress shirt and dress slacks). The evening was ruined, as you can imagine, but admittedly the food was fairly tasty (if diners can manage to avoid wearing it).

Four Seasons: Our group of four encountered mediocre food and very surly service in this main dining room (in fact we had a running debate over whether the service is worse in the Four Seasons or the Seven Seas - food is from the same kitchen, and only the serving staff distinguishes the two main dining room venues). Bland dishes like chicken breast with instant mashed potatoes and frozen vegetables abound. On the accident front, I had a shrimp cocktail spilled all over the table in front of me one evening by a sloppy server.

Il Adagio: Dinner is reasonably good at this venue, which specializes in Italian dishes. Order the simple things, like an artichoke pizza, which is crisp and delicious. Service is sloppy, however: it took more than 15 minutes for a server to appear on one busy evening, and an additional 30 minutes to get glasses of water to the table. The reason, according to our server: “We have to go and find more water.”

Le Bistro: Food and service were a bit above average in this venue. The cassoulet was decently prepared, with slightly overcooked but flavorful duck. The chocolate fondue was cold, runny and inedible, and although the menu advertises Crepes Suzette “prepared tableside,” they are not, obviously for safety reasons (but then why offer it in writing?). If you order selections from the “International Cheese Trolley” for dessert, you’ll receive a few slices of American, Swiss and Bleu served along with a plastic-covered packet of saltine crackers. Beware the extra charges for certain menu items that are in addition to the restaurant’s $20 cover charge.

East Meets West Steakhouse: Food quality is slightly above average here, with fairly attentive service (although we were turned away in our first attempt to “dine whenever” at 7:30 pm despite the fact that only two of the more than 35 tables were occupied). Jumbo shrimp cocktails with a spicy sauce are a pleasure, and the wedge salad is a classic that was enjoyable. Not so great: gummy lobster bisque and defrosted steaks that were tough and overcooked despite a request for “medium rare.” On another evening, to avoid the frozen steak, I ordered rotisserie chicken, which was dry and tough. Again, beware of the extra charges beyond the $25 cover – it’s $10 more if you want that frozen lobster tail with your frozen filet mignon.

Sushi Bar: If you like sushi this is actually one of the better dining venues aboard the Sun. Although the fish isn’t fresh, the hand rolls are well prepared and suitably spicy. Service staff are attentive and pleasant, a rarity on this ship.

Pacific Heights: Perhaps the worst of the specialty restaurants. After a conversation with the Food & Beverage Manager, I was under the assumption that this venue had been closed – but what he really meant to tell me was that its partnership with the food magazine ‘Cooking Light” has been terminated. And with good reason: the Tomato Soup is like a can of Campbell’s with a spoonful of Cayenne Pepper thrown in, and the Mushroom Quesadilla, seemingly filled with instant guacamole and slimy canned mushrooms, is perhaps the vilest thing I have ever attempted to eat. After ordering drinks, our server told us that the 40-minute delay in their delivery was because “The bartender is in the bathroom.” When he finally returned to our table 20 minutes later with appetizers, the waiter looked at us and scornfully said, “You switched places on me!” We had not.

Buffet: Typical mediocre cruise-line buffet fare - nothing is great, nothing is horrid. Some tips: you don’t have to form a single queue – go to the station that you want (there will be howls of protest, but the reality is, this was set up for diners to pick-and-choose from salads, entrees and desserts rather than follow one singular line). During peak lunch times, head out to the rear Great Outdoors area, which has a separate buffet queue featuring salads, burgers, and desserts. As part of the buffet breakfast in the Garden Cafe, waffles are cooked to order in the Pacific Heights venue, and there is virtually no waiting – probably because it is not advertised and you have to exit out of the buffet, head towards the Sports Bar and make a right to get there. You can also find freshly baked pizza (that is quite good) at Pacific Heights during the lunchtime buffet service.


Entertainment:
Live shows: The "Gaucho de la Plata" performance was awkward and uncomfortable - the male "Gaucho" performer became winded after his first bolo dance, then proceeded to make several homophobic jokes in a row. Separately, the "Jean Ann Ryan Dancers" are actually fairly talented...unfortunately the material they are tasked with performing (especially choreography during the Broadway-themed "Encore!" show) is clunky and uninspired. Their "Cirque du Pan" show, a faux "Cirque du Soliel" retelling of "Peter Pan" is the best performance of the lot – fun costumes, cute sets and some impressive gymnastics and aerial acrobatics.

Bingo: The offering of every big cash prize came with an asterix: "$5000 Jackpot! *If you cover your card in 46 numbers or less." Isn’t this a very low statistical possibility? Not even one guaranteed cash Bingo jackpot during a two-week cruise?

Casino: Slot machines are like vacuum cleaners - 20 dollars on a 25-cent machine disappears in a flash. Tables were often empty, with dealers staring blankly and singing to themselves. The casino is closed while in Chilean waters (a significant portion of this itinerary), and it seemed to be primarily used as a indoor smoking lounge during inclement weather - the smoke is extremely heavy, with little or no ventilation.


Shop:
Despite a sign that excitedly proclaims "We have everything you need! Toothpaste, Mouthwash, Toothbrushes!" - the first two on that list were not stocked during the entire 14-day cruise. When asked, a shop assistant shrugged and said, "We don't carry toothpaste." Separately, several days before the end of the cruise, the store manager encouraged me to take advantage of the "Buy 2, Get 1 Free" port-themed t-shirt offer, because "They will not be available for remainder of the cruise." The shirts were observed on offer long after - in fact, all the way to the shop closing on the final night.


Spa:
I am an avid spa-goer, but having experienced the customer service levels throughout the rest of the ship, I opted not to partake of any spa treatments offered by the Mandara Spa. I do have one anecdote regarding the staff, however. My spouse approached the spa reception desk and inquired about getting a moustache trim in the salon (a service advertised on the salon menu). The receptionist told him "No, we don't do that." He walked away in frustration. A few moments later, I approached the desk and asked if it were possible to get my moustache trimmed.  "Sure," the receptionist said, "when would you like to schedule an appointment?"


Enrichment Lectures: Presented by Assistant Cruise Director “Szolt the Bolt,” these featured sixth-grade level Power Point presentations on such topics and the indigenous peoples and the geology/geography of South America. He was unprepared to give the scheduled talk on whales and wildlife, so he showed a video about Alaskan whales instead.


Excursions:
Here are details on excursions offered by NCL:

The Lagoon Bluff: Based on rave reviews, our party of four reserved this Falkland Island penguin rookery excursion via the NCL website more than six months in advance. Once aboard, we discovered that the Excursion Desk staff had switched two of us to a tour time that departed more than 30 minutes later. When I politely asked for the new time to be switched back so we could travel together, the manager of the Excursion Desk told me, “You can either take the tour separately, or give me the tickets back…we have plenty of people who want to take this tour.” I told him that this was unacceptable and to make it right. He eventually did, but every time I saw him in the hallway, he averted his eyes and would not speak to me.

Torres del Paine: A very long day that begins in Punta Arenas and includes a bus ride to the airport, a flight in a rickety Cessna plane (the windshield de-icers did not work and the pilot flew blind for more than 15 minutes of the 40-minute trip), a three-hour bus ride around the national park, a great Chilean lunch overlooking a stunning vista at a lake, and a repeat flight on said rickety Cessna. Embarrassingly expensive at just over $1000 per person – NCL should be ashamed at the premium charged for this tour, which ought to cost $500 tops. All that being said, the beauty of Torres del Paine cannot be overstated. Torres is a must-see destination that would be one of the high points of any visit to Chile.

Lake Esmeralda and Petrohue Falls: A scenic excursion as advertised, but expect to share your catamaran ride on Lake Esmeralda with 400 other guests, and just try to get a solitary moment (let alone walk on the trail) at the falls as 7 to 8 buses release their passengers simultaneously. Lunch, served at an estancia, was very good, and featured as an entree some of the best salmon I have ever tasted.

In Buenos Aires, Peninsula Valdes, Ushuaia and Valparaiso / Santiago we used private tour guides that were friendly, informative and significantly cheaper than NCL excursions. If you are interested in contact information, please send me a private message and I will be happy to share details.


Bottom Line:
Our 14-day cruise around South America on the Norwegian Sun was a memorable one – the vibrancy of Buenos Aires and Santiago are thrilling, and the natural beauty of Patagonia is incomparable. Despite obtaining a significantly discounted rate by booking via the NCL website more than a year in advance, the nickel-and-diming that we experienced on the Norwegian Sun made this the most expensive cruise we have ever taken (yes, surpassing even a trip on the luxury line Crystal Cruises). And unfortunately, our memories of the ship are plagued by visions of incompetency and ineptitude that would be laughable if they hadn’t cost us a considerable amount of money to experience.

"Do you have any money left? No? Ha ha!" - Cruise Director Pedro Cera, emceeing the final show of our cruise in the Stardust Theater.

Oh technology, I love you so.

Philip is fascinated by the goofy paranormal phenomena shows that are popping up all over the cable networks - he makes me stop every time we pass one while we’re channel surfing. The one that makes me snicker the most is “Ghost Adventures” on The Travel Channel - the host, Zak Bagans, is hilarious in his steroid-pumped attempts to hunt down and confront the paranormal. Zak is a such a cartoon - he’s decked himself out in every trapping of the modern lunkhead: he has a missing “c” in his first name, over-moussed hair, over-pumped biceps, “rad” tats on his wrists and biceps, a rope necklace, a spooky ring on his index finger, and he regularly wears black “Affliction” t-shirts to show off his “awesome” bod. I think there might even be some Botox in that face of his too. He often breaks into roid-rages that he seems to think are “possessions” by evil spirits. It truly is laugh-out-loud funny.

A snap of our Christmas Tree this year. Not nearly as many lights as usual (!), since I was able to convince Philip that spending 8+ hours just putting the lights on each individual branch was not in the cards for me this time around. So, rather than supernova, we only have a mini-nova. And we only blew out three extension cords before balancing the load!

We hardly ever see radar images like this in Southern California...it’s nasty out there today!

A pic from the kitchen this evening: cooking crab cakes that my brother Wayne and his family sent us. From Dean & Deluca in NYC, they were fab with a little homemade tartar sauce and some red beans & rice!

From the Yale Book Of Quotations comes the top ten quotes from 2007: 10. "I think as far as the adverse impact on the nation around the world, this administration has been the worst in history." - Jimmy Carter. 9. "I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy. I mean, that's a storybook, man." - Sen. Joe Biden, speaking about Barack Obama. 8. "(I have) a wide stance when going to the bathroom." - Sen. Larry Craig. 7. "I'm not going to get into a name-calling match with somebody who has a 9 percent approval rating." Sen. Harry Reid, speaking about Dick Cheney. 6. "There's only three things he mentions in a sentence: a noun and a verb and 9/11." - Sen. Joe Biden, speaking about Rudy Giuliani. 5. "I don't recall." - Former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales. 4. "That's some nappy-headed hos there." Don Imus. 3. "In Iran we don't have homosexuals like in your country." - Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. 2. "I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because some people out there in our nation don't have maps and I believe that our education like such as in South Africa and the Iraq and everywhere like such as and I believe that they should our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S. or should help South Africa and should help Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future for us." - Miss South Carolina. 1. "Don't tase me, bro!" - UF student Andrew Meyer, arrested at a forum with John Kerry.

Next summer's "Hairspray?" After seeing the original stage version in London I was leery about this until now...dare you to watch this trailer for the upcoming film and NOT break into a smile!

Gelaskins are thin protective cover skins for your iPhone (or iPod Touch) designed by top international artists and made with premium grade 3M vinyl and adhesive technology. The skins are an ultra-clear, scratch resistant coating designed for maximum durability, and patented micro-channels within the adhesive allow for a bubble-free application. Cool, huh?

One of my favorite Christmas TV specials in the whole wide world. Supremely underrated and loads of fun beamin' at ya from 1989.

Christmas Eve, 1969. Before going to bed I pose with our cardboard "fireplace" - it WAS South Florida, after all - fireplaces were unheard of! It had a rotating light bulb and foil contraption to simulate flames. Note the fabulous mid-century wall clock, festooned for the season with paper candy canes. Next morning, one of my favorite toys from Santa was the "JFK International Airport" playset, where you could listen in on the control tower and put planeloads of imaginary people in peril. Two other things to note in this picture: The bright orange Hot Wheels racing track on the carpet, and my first pet - a very protective bulldog named Butch.

Christmas Morning, 2007. Opening gifts in front of the tree on a glorious sunny Southern California day. Jake sits amongst his gifts - a chew-toy snowman, a green and white knotted rope and an edible rawhide greeting card. Meanwhile, Philip gets busy opening his gifts.

To commemorate Dame Edna’s fifty (!) years in show business, the Victorian Arts Centre in Melbourne, Australia has created a brilliant new online retrospective of her career called “Virtually Edna,“ a website complete with original podcasts. Mr. Humphries is unbelievably funny.

Michael Buckley is poised to be "America's New Favorite Gay." In his weekly YouTube video blog "What the Buck?!," he constructs fun rants about entertainment, and naturally he has caught Hollywood's attention. I can't imagine what it must be like to be his partner, though...

Kool-Aid and Reebok are teaming up to bring you fluorescent-colored sneakers with scented soles in six different flavors. Expected to hit stores in June, along with color-coordinated hoodies. I MUST have a pair of lemon-limes!

Kinda late in posting this from last year, but since series two is going to premiere simultaneously in Britain and here on BBC America at the end of this month, it's worth revisiting. Created by Russell T. Davies (creator of the original "Queer as Folk"), "Torchwood" is the wildly successful 'Doctor Who" spinoff that centers around the activities of the Cardiff branch of the fictional Torchwood Institute, an agency that deals with supernatural occurrences. This clip, from near the end of series one, features perhaps the most genuine same-sex kiss ever put on film. In it, protagonist Captain Jack Harkness is trapped by a time rift in a 1941 dancehall, where he falls for a fighter pilot that he knows is doomed to die the following day.

Must have been super-successful: BBC's promotional tagline for the new season is "Who's Jack Kissing Now?" Series two premieres on BBC Two January 16 and on BBC America January 24.

Was she ever gone? Last night Mrs. Clinton pulled off a stunning (according to our increasingly insufferable news media pundits) upset in the New Hampshire primary, with 39% of the vote to Barack Obama's 37%. Today, bombastic commentators on MSNBC are screeching that "shock waves are reverberating throughout the American political landscape...her campaign was dead!!!" Really? After coming in third in the very first primary caucus???? Uh, her husband came in third in most of his early primaries and STILL nabbed the nomination. My head hurts and its 10 months until the national election. I like this picture, though...she looks thrilled. And the genuine response to a question from a New Hampshire voter on "how she gets up and gets going every morning" may have turned the tide for her campaign by showing us her human side:

I met Andy B. Sharp on the number 2 bus in Los Angeles. It was 1989 and I rode the trusty number 2 from our apartment in Silver Lake to my job in Westwood every day, 50 minutes each way. (Contrary to what most Angelenos would have you believe, public transit in LA is actually very good, with routes taking you anywhere you want to go, including Disneyland, the beach, museums, etc. We lived in LA for over 10 years without a car, but I digress.) I would see Andy every afternoon waiting for the bus at the place where I caught it too - right outside the UCLA campus entrance. He would eye me coyly while smoking a cigarette, his left leg cocked ever-so-slightly inward in a come-hither pose. When the bus would pull up, I usually walked past him and smiled as I boarded, then headed to my favorite seat just in front of the rear exit doors.

One day, instead of just smiling, I asked him to sit with me as we crossed the city. We became instant friends as we chatted about my recent relocation to LA, his childhood in Arizona, his job at the UCLA medical library and a million other things. As I talked about Philip, he somehow got the impression that my partner was black (I think this was a bit of wishful thinking, Andy was trying to imagine himself in Philip's place). When I got home one night a few weeks later, I announced to Philip that I was inviting someone over for dinner. "Who?," he wanted to know. "A guy I met on the bus," I said. "Are you CRAZY?!?" was his response.

No, I wasn't crazy. Andy did come for dinner, and Philip loved him like I did. In fact, we liked him so much that he basically never left our side for the next seven years. He became one of our closest friends, spending every holiday, birthday and vacation with us. He was smart, funny and sometimes just plain wacky. He was afraid of the water, passionate about food and a happy-go-lucky guy. "What does the B stand for in your name Andy?" I would ask. "It just stands for the letter B, my mother liked the letter B," was a typical Andy answer. I miss him still.

You never know where you are going to find your next best friend...maybe I should put my car in the garage, buy a bus pass and see who else is waiting out there to enter our lives...

Now here's a scenario for the next "Airport" film: a passenger hacks into the plane's computer network and threatens to bring it down... From Wired.com: "Boeing's new 787 Dreamliner passenger jet may have a serious security vulnerability in its onboard computer networks that could allow passengers to access the plane's control systems, according to the U.S. Federal Aviation Administration. The computer network in the Dreamliner's passenger compartment, designed to give passengers in-flight internet access, is connected to the plane's control, navigation and communication systems, an FAA report reveals." WOW! Get Karen Black on the phone, STAT!

I am in love with the new KitKat White. It's so dang good - the white chocolate is smooth and creamy, while the crunchy vanilla cookie center acts as a great counterpoint. It takes extreme self-control not to consume three or four packages at once.

I hope my brother (who works for Budweiser) does not condone this - a new product from Anheuser-Busch called Chelada is a mixture of beer and clam-flavored tomato juice. Which is worse, this foul brew or something I saw in the grocery store today: Chocolate-Cherry Diet Dr. Pepper.

We watched a Netflix rental the other night - the charming Irish musical "Once." Set in Dublin, the film stars musicians Glen Hansard (of popular Irish rock band The Frames) and Markéta Irglová as fictional struggling musicians. Collaborators prior to making the film, Hansard and Irglová composed and performed most of the original songs used in the movie. I've found myself repeating the main theme "Falling Slowly" over and over in my head ever since.

Crazy-ass Tom Cruise's recently leaked in-house Scientology video. Watch it and discover that he is truly insane - what is it about super-celebritydom that makes you lose all your marbles?? Mostly posting this just so it remains propagated around the Internet. Hopefully this will stem the flow of new movies from this nutcase. A former Scientologist commenter at RADAR provides definitions of Cruise's Scientology-speak:

• KSW (short for Keeping Scientology Working): A policy written by Hubbard in the 1960's that requires all Scientologists to follow his words and his rules exactly.
• Orgs: Orgs is an abbreviation for "organizations" and describes all churches of Scientology throughout the world.
• David Miscavige: The current leader of Scientology and the equivalent of the Pope to the Catholics.
• Out-ethics: any behavior that violates any of Hubbard's rules of conduct.
• Put ethics in on someone else: make others conform to Hubbard's rules of behavior.
• Criminon: Scientology front group that tries to recruit through the prisons.
• SP: Suppressive Person. Anyone that doesn't like Scientology and/or criticizes Scientology.
• PTS/SP: another bogus Hubbard term to define behavior that goes against Scientology rules.
• LRH technology or "tech": all the Scientology policies, rules, mandates, procedures.

Lots of cool new web-based applications for the iPhone coming out now. Some interesting ones include the French-language Audio Guide CitySpeaker, which outfits your iPhone with audio guides of 20 destinations; vFlashlight, which lets iPhone users brighten up their surroundings when a flashlight is needed; and ZAGAT.mobi, which supplies free restaurant, nightlife and hotel information for hundreds of cities, including address, phone number, and operating hours.

LOVING the new Jennifer Saunders sitcom "The Life and Times of Vivienne Vyle." Created by Saunders and Tanya Byron, "Vivienne Vyle" follows the on-screen and off-screen life of the host of a fictional TV series modeled after Dr. Phil and Jerry Springer. Thank god for YouTube - there is no reason that BBC America cannot air this in a timely manner! It's already gone out in the UK - broadcast it here in the US!

Got a new toy over the weekend: an Apple TV unit. I was initially uninspired by this device, a digital media receiver designed, marketed and sold by Apple designed to play digital content originating from the iTunes Store or another computer onto a high-def widescreen television. It can store content on its internal hard drive or stream it across a network from another computer. I really didn't see the need for it, but the prospect of renting movies directly through the web without having to mess with Netflix tempted me. So far we are blown away by looking at our digital photo albums in high definition. The screensaver of floating pictures of your life while your favorite tunes are playing on the home theater system is quite compelling - we watched it for hours for the past couple of nights!

Shocked to hear about Heath Ledger's untimely death. I liked his work in Brokeback, the portrayal of Ennis is exactly how I imagined the character in the short story.

The Center For Public Integrity has compiled a database of lies told by the Bush White House regarding Iraq since 2001, arriving at a grand total of 935. Of course, these little fibs are no small triviality...When the Bush Administration lied, people died. Over 150,000 Iraqis and nearly 4,000 Americans, to be specific.

A fire on the roof of the Monte Carlo hotel-casino forced gamblers to flee and sent flaming embers raining down on the Las Vegas Strip today - where are Paul Newman and Steve McQueen when you need them??

Stewardess Nancy's first day, circa 1982. My, how customer service attitudes have changed on United Airlines! On our United red-eye flight to Florida to see my folks last Thanksgiving, the flight attendants were surly and then partied in the forward galley throughout the night, turning the light out and quieting down only when we were about to land in Orlando. It was as if we passengers were in the way of their socializing...I realize that they've taken pay cuts and lost their pensions, but really, there's no excuse for treating your customers like crap.

The fabulous Jan Hooks as faux religious broadcaster Tammy Jean Pickett on the Bill Tush Show, which aired on Ted Turner's Superstation TBS, circa 1981. "My eyes have seen it, and it is large."

More from the weird food aisle...Strawberry Frosted Cheetos. Yes, you read it correctly. Strawberry Cheetos. They're really Cheetos and they're really from Frito Lay, but they are only available in Japan. There are also Chocolate Cheetos, if you're into that. Probably the perfect snack to wash down with an ice cold Cucumber Pepsi, also available only in Japan:

Minimates, block-styled miniature action figures created by Art Asylum, are available in some great flavors. Even though I need another collection like I need a hole in the head, I may have to start one because of this.....now on sale, a Minimates set based on the 1991 Academy Award-winning Best Picture “The Silence of the Lambs!” I can imagine toddlers all over the globe re-enacting this scene:

"Do you know what you look like, with your good bag and your cheap shoes? You look like a rube. A well-scrubbed, hustling rube, with a little taste. Good nutrition's given you length of bone, but you're not more than one generation from poor white trash, are you? And that accent you've tried so desperately to shed: pure West Virginia. What is your father, dear? ls he a coal miner? Does he stink of the lamp? How quickly the boys found you. All those tedious, sticky fumblings in the back seats of cars, while you could only dream of getting out, getting anywhere, getting all the way to the FBl."

Wow, lots of love for this poster created by OBEY for the Obama campaign. The screenprint was only released in a limited edition of 350 today and immediately sold out.

Blue States vs. Red States, the Democrats have a dream for 2008 and now you can too with this Heat Activated Blue States Mug from Wicked Cool Stuff. Pour hot liquid into this coffee mug and watch the nation swing to the left.

Watched a TERRIFIC Netflix rental last night, Colma: The Musical. Shot on what looks like a budget of $3, this great-spirited coming-of-age film is heartfelt, fun and refreshing. (Colma is a little town right next to San Francisco whose claim to fame is that the dead outnumber the living 1500 to 1 because of its many cemeteries.) One part Rent, one part Grease, and one part Rocky Horror Picture Show, Colma: The Musical grabs you from its first song and doesn't let go!

If you own an iPhone, you know that the built-in digital camera takes great photos, but the range is pretty limited due to its fixed lens. Now you can add a zoom lens which attaches to a protective plastic case that snaps snugly around the phone. If you don’t mind adding a little extra bulk to your iPhone, you can pick one up from DealExtreme for just under $15 (plus, it's kinda phallic).

Well, the Writer's Strike is over and it didn't kill my favorite new show of the 2007 Fall Season, ABC's "Pushing Daisies." Not so thrilled that the nine episodes aired so far will count as Season 1, and that the show will not return until this fall. Feh. Well, with all that time to write and produce, I bet it will be stellar.

10. Providence, RI 9. Charlotte, NC 8. Modesto, CA 7. Los Angeles, CA 6. Chicago, IL 5. Philadelphia, PA 4. New York, NY 3. Flint, MI 2. Stockton, CA 1. Detroit, MI

Hmmmm...I dunno, I can think of a lot of places in the world that are much more miserable than what I see from my front door every day:

This is just concept right now, but imagine the possibilities: an app for the iPhone that lets you place your Starbucks order ahead of time, calculates what you owe and then generates payment. Even though I am not a Starbucks devotee, the ramifications for retail may major if things like this take off.

Well, now that I have had a few days to recover and reflect on our Middle East odyssey, here is a recap:

The trip is not easily summarized: It was fun, exhausting, irritating and interesting all at once. There were positives and negatives, but in my opinion it was definitely not the five-star experience we were expecting from tour operator Abercrombie & Kent.

It's the little details make the difference, and in our case A & K did not deliver. Some examples: after being greeted in the Cairo Airport, Philip and I were left standing in a dirt parking lot for more than 25 minutes without any explanation about what was going on; our (eventual) driver and escort to the Conrad Cairo did not say a word to us on the 40-minute ride to hotel; the A & K escort didn't give us the welcome packet and itinerary that other guests received (kind of necessary since there was an early wake-up call the next morning); our names were incorrect on the hotel check-in (he had done it for us) and we received the wrong luggage; our room was located next to the noisy service elevator for the club level lounge and when we went down to ask the escort to help us change rooms, he was nowhere to be found (their service committment is to stay at the hotel and make sure you are satisfied with your accommodations and have obtained your luggage); we were not allowed to order a cocktail at the welcome party reception for the group - beer or house white only (on a high-end expensive tour!); all of the group meals in Egypt were mediocre - tough meat, set menu with usually no choices; and many of the tour buses that we traveled on were unacceptably worn and dirty (really, it doesn't take much to wipe off windows!). Additionally, the Conrad Cairo is not in the greatest of neighborhoods - you really can't walk around much, the neighborhood was low-income and not tourist-friendly. We traveled with budget-level tour operator Globus in Europe many years ago, and the A & K service was definitely no better.

The A & K itinerary for the two-week trip was unrealistic...we were regularly asked to awake at dawn and would sightsee all day without rest (and on at least one occassion without any food), then we would be deposited at our hotel with a few minutes to wash up before dinner. Here is the breakdown of one single day: We were up at 4:00 am (with no breakfast) to head to the Cairo airport; took two seperate (very full and filthy non-chartered) flights to our destination of Abu Simbel; toured extensively, then took another (non-chartered) flight to Aswan; toured more, then were deposited at our Nile cruise boat for lunch (at 3:45 pm) - only to be told that we had 10 minutes to eat before the bus left for more touring; toured for another few hours; were deposited back at the boat at 7:00 pm; ate dinner at 7:30 pm, during which we were told that we had to be up at dawn the next morning for another bus tour. To my mind it was more like being in boot camp than on vacation.

The Sun Boat IV cruise on the Nile was lovely - only wish we could have enjoyed it more! We only had a hour or so to sit on deck before being whisked off on another tour. They offer a nice afternoon tea, but we were never on board to enjoy it. There was entertainment at night after dinner, but after a 14-hour day and with an early wake-up call, you're so exhausted you cannot stay awake to enjoy that either. Food was hit-or-miss on the boat, not consistently good.

Our Egyptologist was knowledgeable, but she spent most of her time playing "mother" to all of the complainers in the group (and I know it's hard to believe, but I never said a word), so she really did not spend as much time as she should have explaining Egypt and the incredible sites we were seeing.

Which brings me to the positive aspect of our trip: the sights were AMAZING! It was mind-blowing to climb inside the Great Pyramid, see the Temple of Karnak and ride camels through the desert! Lots of dust and heat though - even in February it was getting uncomfortably warm in the south part of Egypt.

Jordan was a bit better - Amman is a clean city, the hotel was much nicer (Four Seasons Amman) and the guide better at crowd control and information dissemination. But the bus we were on for the (4 hour each way) ride to Petra was filthy dirty - grimy seats, light fixtures with broken faceplates, dirty floors and windows. The food we were served on the group meals in Jordan was of really good quality...I loved the national dish of lamb stewed in yogurt and served over rice and chicken. Petra was incredible - a wonderous monument to a forgotten civilization carved right into the red mountains on the edge of the Jordanian desert. We saw the place where Mr. Jesus was baptized at the River Jordan and stood on the mountaintop where Mr. Moses looked out and saw the Promised Land. Supposedly. All in all, a trip that we won't soon forget!

Whenever I get back home from traveling abroad, there's one taste that I absolutely crave: Extra Crunchy Jif. Even though it's now made by J. M. Smucker (and I swear it tastes different than it when it was made by Procter & Gamble), it's the one food I truly desire after being on a diet of unusual foreign dishes. Americans eat 170 million pounds of Jif in a year...enough to make 2 billion peanut butter sandwiches.

After receiving rave reviews for its successful debut in 2007, the True Colors Tour is hitting the road again this summer in support of the newly created True Colors Fund of Stonewall Community Foundation. Cyndi Lauper, The B-52s, Rosie O'Donnell and host Carson Kressley will be joined by Wanda Sykes, Tegan and Sara, Regina Spektor, Joan Jett and the Blackhearts, Joan Armatrading, Indigo Girls, Nona Hendryx, Deborah Cox and The Cliks. It was so damn much fun last year, I cannot wait for the LA date on June 28! Update: Now I see that Andy Bell of Erasure will be a special guest here in LA! Woo!

To me, there was always something (homo)sexual about Big Jim, a line of hyper-macho action figures produced by Mattel from 1972 through 1986. Inspired by G.I. Joe, Jim was smaller (closer to 10 inches tall compared to Joe's 12) and each figure included a push button in his back that made the character execute a karate chop. His arms were made of a soft plastic/vinyl material and contained a mechanism that simulated a bulging biceps when the arm was bent. Jim was less military-oriented than G.I. Joe, having more of a secret agent flair, and he had a variety of outfits and situations at his disposal including sports, space exploration, martial arts, hunting, and even "unusual" choices such as fishing and photography. Don't even get me started on his pals, a virtual gay fantasy who's who: Big Jeff (the blonde surfer dude), Big Jack (the husky black buddy), and Big Josh, the burly, bearded lumberjack. You just know all sorts of shenanigans went on in the Sports Camper.

This makes me uneasy: Last October, Barack Obama refused to dump virulently anti-gay gospel singer Donnie McClurkin (not to mention all of the other homophobes) from his “gospel concert tour" in South Carolina. When the gay community asked why he would support such a hate-monger, Senator Obama issued a statement (actually, it was buried deep within his campaign Web site) that affirmed his "belief that gays and lesbians are our brothers and sisters and should be provided the respect, dignity, and rights of all other citizens" - but he refused to rebuke McClurkin. Yesterday, the senator used the exact same, ineffectual strategy in an attempt to distance himself from the inflammatory, racist, and anti-American sermons of his church pastor, "spiritual mentor" and "role model" who "helps keep his priorities straight and his moral compass calibrated": Jeremiah A. Wright, Jr. Sigh. Senator Obama's dodging and weaving to please the more hateful elements of our society is disturbing to me...Feh.

We spent the weekend relaxing at the Four Seasons Aviara, a lovely resort in Carlsbad, just north of San Diego. Not sure if it's the proximity to Legoland (the entrance is only a mile or two away), but there were VERY young children EVERYWHERE. Upon entrance to the reception area, children were running and screaming so loudly that I did not hear the desk clerk ask me if I was ready to check in. Screaming kids were also very prevalent at the swimming pool area - so much so that there is a restricted "16 years and older" pool and spa area for adults nearby (pictured above), but the children didn't stay out of there, either. The whirlpool spa in said "quiet zone" was overrun with 5 to 8 year olds on two different days, and I even saw a young father dipping his diapered infant into that spa! I did enjoy the drinks served poolside, though. I ordered a Capirinhia that, instead of lime and mint, contained big chunks of watermelon and tasted like soda water. At first I thought it was pretty gross, but at $7.50 a pop, I did not want to waste it, so I slowly drank it as we lounged. I guess it was worth the money, because when I finished it I could no longer feel my legs. The spa treatments we had were very nice - the peppermint scrub helped restore the feeling back to my legs, and later we went to a flower field and reveled in the glory of the blossoms. Oh yeah, the hotel had giant chocolate Easter eggs in the lobby that the screaming brats were tearing at like wild animals.

Mary Blair, one of Walt Disney’s favorite conceptual artists, possessed a unique style that influenced the look and feel of many Disney projects during her career span from 1942 to 1970. One her most amazing design achievements was the 1964 New York World’s Fair attraction “it’s a small world," which was later imported to Disneyland (and all of the other Magic Kingdoms around the globe) where it’s been welcoming guests for more than 40 years. The classic attraction at Disneyland is now out of commission for ten months so that the boat flumes can be replaced with a deeper trough better able to handle todays heavier park guests. Unfortunately, my former employer Walt Disney Imagineering is taking advantage of the downtime by looking for spots throughout the attraction to place a selection of "classic" Disney characters to enliven the proceedings. Now guests will be treated to a grinning "Stitch" figure in Hawaii, a statue of "Belle" in the Paris scene, and a "Peter Pan" flying over London. In the most troublesome revision, the beautiful New Guinea rainforest scene, which features some of Mary Blair’s most whimsical character creations (a crocodile with an umbrella, colorful birds hatching from eggs and drummer children with Tiki masks) will be replaced with a new "Hooray for U.S.A" sequence. Feh. This attraction was always about giving Americans a view of the world around them and recognizing the common humanity that all of the citizens of the Earth share...not a tribute to nationalism and the Disney studio's stable of animated characters. Mary's family has rightfully spoken out that the addition of Disney characters and an "Up With America" sequence is "a gross desecration of the ride's original theme." Good for them.

Jay Leno interviews actor Ryan Phillippe, whose first professional role was a gay teen on the soap opera "One Life to Live:"

LENO: Can you give me like -- say that camera is your gay lover -- number two --

PHILLIPPE: Wait a second. Wait a second.

LENO: Can you give me your gayest look? Say that -- say that camera is Billy Bob -- Billy Bob has just ridden in shirtless from Wyoming. (The audience hoots at the idea of a masculine guy like Phillippe giving a "gay look.")

PHILLIPPE: Wow. That is so something I don't want to do. Are you just going to embarrass me tonight, or --

LENO: No, I got more stuff. This is the least of it.

The old dude driving this truck has plates from Connecticut that expired three years ago.

This one from Texas has had the month and date stickers completely removed.

And this kid is driving a car registered in Guam. That's right, I said Guam!

While I am loathe to admit that I have given money to the narrow-minded, bigoted and recently-deceased Carl Kartcher, we stopped at a Carl's Jr. after dinner last night for a dessert treat - a Cap'n Crunch milkshake. Oh sure, some may scoff that it's just a vanilla shake with a hearty helping of cereal mixed in, but if you even remotely loved the taste of Cap'n Crunch as a kid, this is a big plastic cup full of joy. Sure, it's got enough fat and calories to kill you, but aren't most fun things in life a little dangerous? I see that there has been some grousing on the Internets about it being too thick to drink, but the Shakeologist in Hastings Ranch prepared ours just right - smooth, with recognizable bits of the super-sweet cereal still crunchily intact. Must. Never. Eat. It. Again. Truly addictive.

I might as well dub this a weird food blog, because I cannot placate my fascination with odd distortions in the American diet. From Jelly Belly comes Bean Boozled, an edible version of Russian Roulette. The box contains 10 different colored jelly beans with 20 different flavors. The flavor could be a tasty one like buttered popcorn, plum or pear. On the other hand, the flavor could be categorized as "not so great": vomit, skunk spray, pencil shavings and baby wipes. I wonder how long it took them to get the "boogers" flavor right. Here is a chart of the decoded flavors, should you wish to play along at home:

• Black: Licorice or Skunk Spray
• Yellow with Brown Spots: Top Banana or Pencil Shavings
• White with Yellow Spots: Buttered Popcorn or Rotten Egg
• Blue: Berry Blue or Toothpaste
• White/Light Beige: Cafe Latte or Ear Wax
• Orange with Red Spots: Peach or Vomit
• Green with Green Spots: Juicy Pear and Boogers
• Light Yellow with Brown Spots: Caramel Corn or Moldy Cheese
• White: Coconut or Baby Wipes
• Blue with White Spots: Plum or Black Pepper

I have been trying to avoid reality shows as much as possible, but this one may make me break my embargo: Bravo's new "Step It Up and Dance." In what looks to be a cross between "Showgirls" and "A Chorus Line," the original Nomi Malone, Elizabeth Berkley, returns to the small screen serving as co-host and judge of this reality-dance competition. Woo! I hope she gets up and shows them how to pop it. Choreaographer and co-host Jerry Mitchell says that after seeing her for the first time, it took the contestants about seven seconds to do Nomi's move of flicking her fingers in front of ther face.

Pics of spring blossoms in the front yard this afternoon.

Man, I love YouTube. I have been trying to find a copy of "The TV Wheel," and behold, there it is on the Internets! "The TV Wheel" was an experimental sketch comedy show created by Mystery Science Theater 3000's Joel Hodgson. A single stationary camera was mounted inside the center of a large rotating platform, and as the platform rotated around the camera, a scene would come into view. The wheel would stop and a sketch would play out. Interesting concept, and it could have worked well given a little more development time. HBO ordered a pilot, but ultimately passed on picking up the program as a series. The pilot aired only once on Comedy Central as a special presentation in 1995, and this is where I join the story - I saw that airing while in a New York hotel room, and I laughed so hard at the sketch with the psychotc monkey Pumpernickel that I literally fell off the bed. And now here he is, in all his glory. "He's a corker!"

Spent the afternoon reorganizing the armoire in the guest bedroom that we use to store office supplies and paper for the printer. Doesn't that look tidy? I didn't think to take a "before" shot of the chaos that preceded the reorganization.

Spotted on the 110 Freeway: another California-registration-evading scofflaw. Idaho 8B X9253.

In my continuing series of food postings, I present the Mash Cone from British food company Aunt Bessies. This new treat consists of sausage, mashed potatoes, gravy and peas served up in an ice cream cone. Even though there have been lots of "eeeew!" squeals on the Internets, it actually looks kinda good to me.

OMG I'm loving the "Funplex" track from the new B-52s album of the same name...can't stop playing it!! So what if they're pushing 50 - they sound great!! Can't wait to see them on the True Colors tour.

The Kids in the Hall was one of my favorite shows in the 90s - the sly, offbeat humor was right up my alley. Once I watched a skit (Heccubus and Evil, I believe) while recovering from a hernia operation and I nearly burst my stitches from laughing. All of the original cast members are reuniting and going out on tour this year with new material - see their tour planning efforts in the video above. Wouldn't you know it - we're going to be out of town the night they appear in Los Angeles. Dangit! Well, I've seen them live several times (and I've even eaten lunch with Scott Thompson in a Disney Studio conference room - I'm sure he remembers it) so I can't complain too much about missing them this time around. But all new material? Arrrggh! Here's a favorite skit from the old TV show:

Hey Rick, what is that thing wrapped in the sheet and tied ever so nicely with a bow up there in that picture above? Well, if you must know it is Martha Stewart's dog Paw Paw, which passed away last weekend. Um, I've put a beloved pet down, so I know what a tough thing it is, but wrapping it in one of your 800-thread-count sheets and tying the bundle with a matching silk ribbon? Really? And in the photo below, Martha has placed the dying dog on her marble kitchen counter. Seriously, this is a little creepy.

Two more registration-evading scofflaws: a Chevy Suburban leaving my workplace garage with no plates (!) and a Ford Taurus from Ann Arbor, Michigan whose clever driver has removed the year sticker and just left the month of February on the plate, labeled 9CKN03.

So Barack conceded his loss in Pennsylvania in a televised speech last night, and the most compelling thing about it were the three toolish men wearing Abercrombie & Fitch t-shirts who stood awkwardly and disinterestedly behind the candidate. While Keith Olbermann commented that it was probably product placement, it was more like an not-so-subtle appeal to the gay boy electorate. The funniest thing about the placement, however, was that the boys ended up distracting from Obama’s speech by answering cell phone calls, chatting amongst themselves and looking off all glassy eyed while he spoke. High-lar-i-ous.

Do we need a dog food named after beloved family pet that gets rabies and is utimately killed by a shotgun blast from his crying boy owner? What genius over at Disney Consumer Products came up with this one? Surely other Disney dogs would have been a more appropriate branding choice for this product...Pluto? Lady & the Tramp? 101 Dalmatians?

More from the icky food arena: this nasty-looking mess is the Fiesta Chili Something-or-Other sandwich now on offer at Marie Callendars restaurants here in Southern California. How about the way that cheese melting off the sides reminds of a stringy hairdo or an old-fashioned wet mop? Yum!

California Vehicle Registration evaders - Northwest Edition. Spotted on the streets of LA: Oregon 701BNU, who has skillfully covered the expiration dates with an oversized license plate holder.

236VUW from Washington State likes to shop in Old Town Pasadena...wow, that's a long way from home...

...and grungy Oregon 429BYF seems to be a permanent resident of the bohemian neighborhood of Silver Lake.

Thank you, "father yapping loudly on a cell phone while your son travels to other tables, pouring salt and sugar on them and smearing his sausage link on the vinyl-covered benches." You certainly made it a memorable breakfast at Twoheys in Alhambra this morning. Hope your brother's business successfully gets off the ground and that you enjoy your upcoming trip to Peru. I'm thrilled to know all the details.

But man, oh man was I driven crazy when I spotted more nasty bulkhead foot-flyers on the plane...why is this acceptable behavior from grown adults? And don't even get me started on the mother who let her 1-year-old baby crawl on the filthy carpet in front of the airplane lavatory...

From SFGate: "In a monumental victory for the gay rights movement, the California Supreme Court overturned a voter-approved ban on gay marriage Thursday in a ruling that would allow same-sex couples in the nation's biggest state to tie the knot. Domestic partnerships are not a good enough substitute for marriage, the justices ruled 4-3 in an opinion written by Chief Justice Ron George. Outside the courthouse, gay marriage supporters cried and cheered as news spread of the decision." HOORAY, HOORAY, HOORAY!!! At last, I will get the wedding presents that I should have received 22 years ago!

A very clever SNL parody of one of my favorite game shows. Although I think they confused Paul Lynde with Charles Nelson Reilly - an outrageous error!

Late to the party on this one, but loving it all the same. "The Venture Bros." chronicles the adventures of two dopey teenage boys, Hank and Dean Venture; their super-scientist father, Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture; and family bodyguard/secret agent Brock Samson. It hilariously pays homage to a variety of sources, including adventure serials, pulp magazines, television shows, movies, toys, fads, and comic books...but mostly it's a supremely funny riff on "Jonny Quest." Just getting caught up with Seasons 1 and 2 in preparation for Season 3's June 1 premiere on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim block. Can't wait!

One-word review: Vicodin.

OMG I'm loving the new Cyndi Lauper album "Bring Ya to the Brink"!! Like I said about the recent B-52's album, so what if she's in her 50s - she still sounds great!! Of course I disagree with the critics who have weighed in so far - the songs they say are the best, meh. The songs they hate, I love, like "Grab a Hold." Can't wait to see her and The B-52s on the True Colors tour.

Capsule review: Janet Leigh is attacked by a shark while washing dishes, Richard Dreyfuss lip-synchs to bad 1960s pop tunes and Merv Griffin arrives in a submarine.

Capsule review: Bisexual surfer Zach pines to be an artist and has an affair with his best friend's older brother. Good actors and nice production values, but the plot has more holes than Dunkin' Donuts - why is Zach's paralyzed father never seen or dealt with, even at the "parting ways with his bitch sister" conclusion? Man, that ending makes it seem like daddy raised some self-centered kids! They both leave town to presumably let him rot. Meh. One icepack.

Capsule review: Congressman Tom Hanks talks with a heavy Texas accent, Julia Roberts is a rich lady with thick mascara, and pottymouth Philip Seymore Hoffman wears ugly sunglasses, even indoors. Clever and intelligent script about modern government subversiveness. Three icepacks.

More fun with food, this time from EnglishRussia.com: Just separate the skittles by color, add to vodka, let the alcohol absorb the color, and drain for candy-colored vodka. Taste the rainbow!

Barack Obama laid claim to the Democratic presidential nomination Tuesday night, taking a historic step toward his once-improbable goal of becoming the nation's first black president. In separate speeches, Hillary Clinton maneuvered for the vice presidential spot on his fall ticket without conceding her own defeat. This historic milestone in American history is big news all over the globe:

And I loved it when, just before Barack gave his victory speech, Michelle gave him a fist punch - really gave you some insight on how much they love and support each other.

My friend Jeannette spotted this LA resident with an out-of-state plate at the El Pollo Loco on Colorado Boulevard in Pasadena.

From the Los Angeles Times: The California Supreme Court today rejected a petition to delay its historic same-sex marriage decision, deciding 4-3 that gay people may marry later this month. The court's decision clears the way for same-sex couples to wed starting on June 17, the date California cities and counties will begin issuing marriage licenses to gay couples.

Well, the cupcake craze has been swirling all around Los Angeles for quite a while, and now the gastronomic trend has hit my neighborhood. Everyone at my job is loving Dots Cupcakes, a new bakery near Old Town Pasadena. I was treated to many of their delicious creations while recuperating from my surgery, and we have brought them in for all of our recent office birthday celebrations. Flavors include the now-obligatory-everywhere Red Velvet, Coffee Latte, Boston Cream Pie, and my favorite, Lemon Drop.

Bill O’Reilly producer Porter Barry ambushes Bill Moyers from PBS (Barry was looking to get sound bytes for an attack piece against the "liberal media"). The right-winger gets totally argued down by the brilliant Bill Moyers. Watch it - it’s long, but triumphant!.

Some French dudes demonstrate the scary ability of cell phones to pop popcorn kernels. You might want to rethink the practice of carrying your mobile in your pocket... UPDATE: Hoax.

South Florida's first enclosed mall opened in 1964, occupying a 40 acre parcel 1.5 miles west of downtown Hollywood. Known as the Hollywood Mall, it was a fixture of my childhood...we took photos with Santa there, got our school shoes at Thom McAnn, went to see 25-cent movies at the Florida Theater, and, as a special treat, ate at the lunch counter in the Walgreens drug store. It was very 60s-chic, with fabulous brown and gold river-rock panels on the walls, terrazzo floors and orb-y light fixtures hanging from the ceiling. A large Sears served as Hollywood Mall's only anchor department store, and the shopping center also included a Publix supermarket, Cheryl's Cards and Gifts, Posture Form Children's Shoes, Lani Kay ladies' apparel, Mister Donut, and the Hollywood Mall Beauty Salon - THE place in town for the latest-style Fedora hairdo. I spent countless days in the mall as a kid (often unaccompanied by an adult), and when the Sears store became notorious as the site of the 1981 kidnapping and murder of Adam Walsh, it freaked out all of us who grew up patronizing the place. "THAT could have been me!" we all thought.

Marriage was the prevailing theme during the Los Angeles Pride Celebration yesterday. Only a few protesters showed up, a good sign...foreshadowing the November ballot amendment results perhaps??

Sixteen states have reported salmonella poisoning as the result of raw, uncooked tomatoes. More bad 70s movie premises come back to haunt us in the 21st Century.

From natuba.com: "Hello, Walmart Bakery. I would like to order a cake. It should say: 'Best Wishes Suzanne.' Underneath that: 'We will miss you.'"

Just when did it become mandatory to wear spandex festooned with logos in order to ride a bike? The image above is an almost daily occurrence on my street, and I know there can't possibly be that many pro biking teams in my neighborhood...

History was ushered in at 5:01 pm PST yesterday as California began marrying same-sex couples, becoming the second state in the nation to do so. In San Francisco, 87-year-old Del Martin and 84-year-old Phyllis Lyon were married after being together for more than 50 years. San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom officiated and delivered a heartwarming speech afterward.

Robin Tyler and Diane Olson were the first couple in Los Angeles to be married in Southern California - at the Beverly Hills courthouse just after 5 pm. I read a lot of emotional stories about individual ceremonies as well as a lot of debate for and against marriage on the LA Times website today, but the best thing I saw all day was in a comment posted by a reader named Mike: "Each side should be asking the question: 'Can the majority deny basic rights to a minority?' If we exclude a minority group from partaking on those basic rights - aren´t we opening the door, for another majority to deny ours? Each one of us, in one way or another, are members of a minority. A true Democracy PROTECTS the right of each one of us, by ensuring that the rights of EACH individual are not stepped on by the Majority. Irregardless of our 'emotions' - we SHOULD be supporting gay marriage - as one day, it might be those very same gays who will be PROTECTING our basic rights."

Co-worker Barbara and I had lunch at the new branch of Roy's Hawaiian Fusion Cuisine in Downtown Los Angeles today - this was my "Local Boy Lunch" - Chinese Chicken Salad, Fire Grilled Szechuan Spiced Baby Back Pork Ribs, Hawaiian Style Misoyaki Butterfish and Spicy Tuna Topped with Hamachi. Wow, a LOT of food for lunch, all good!

Philip and I went to the Jewelry District in Downtown Los Angeles this morning to shop for rings...we looked at literally hundreds over the course of two hours and settled on the brushed white gold pieces pictured above. Now that we have the rings, the marriage license application and the tuxedos, we're finally set to get hitched after 22 years!

Joel Hodgson is back! Cinematic Titanic is a hliarious new series by Joel, creator and original host of Mystery Science Theater 3000. The project, which involves "riffing" B-movies a la MST3K, is a direct-to-video and online download release. Joining Joel are many of the original MST3K cast, as well as some cast members who joined later in the show's run, including Trace Beaulieu, J. Elvis Weinstein, Frank Conniff and Mary Jo Pehl. Watched "The Oozing Skull" last night. Was laughing so hard at one point that I couldn't breathe. Good stuff! Much funnier than Mike Nelson's (Joel's not-as-funny replacement on MST3K) RiffTrax, which also provides satirical commentary alongside contemporary films.

OMG - loving the new Cherry Kool-Aid Singles. Rip one open, pour into a cold bottle of water and taste your childhood.

The second annual True Colors concert at the Greek Theater last night was a blast! As with last year's inaugural tour, the review-style concert was part rock festival and part public-awareness telethon for gay rights but mostly just a full-on party. Philip and I were joined by co-worker Barbara and her partner Paula, and Philip's straight high school mate Daric, who popped into town for a day to visit Philip after 20 years and found himself in the middle of thousands of gay folks.

All of the acts were great, with the exception of wanna-be-singer-but-really-a-'roided-out-aging-porn-star Colton Ford, who opened the evening with some very bad squawking to a couple of ho-hum pre-recorded tracks. Luckily we were backstage meeting Cyndi Lauper at the time, but what I could hear was not pretty. OK, so I got a blurry pic with Cyndi...

The talentless (unless you count what's going on in his pants) Mr. Ford was followed by the very charming Puppini Sisters, a trio from the UK that performs retro Andrews Sisters-style with lush costumes and an ironic wink. They were fabulous, and the crowd seemed to be very disappointed when their short set was over.

The fun Puppinis were followed by Erasure's Andy Bell, who had the brave task of singing to pre-recorded tracks while working less than a quarter stage in front of the gigantic True Colors curtain - sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't. He was actually much better in last year's appearance with band mate Vince Clarke - Andy's theatricality and voice needs more than two feet of space in front of a curtain and a recorded track. Mr. Bell was joined by Cyndi Lauper for a duet of "Early Bird" (also to a pre-recorded track) which they handled nicely.

Actress/Comedienne Wanda Sykes performed a very funny set with sly observations on gay marriage and comparing the gay rights struggle to the African-American experience. Her comic timing was great, and as with The Puppini Sisters, I found myself wishing that her short set had gone on a little longer.

The B-52s were up next and their set was terrific, especially the material from the new "Funplex" album. The sound mix was a bit off, with vocals not nearly as loud as Keith Strickland's guitar, but the band still had great energy and the live performance of the new songs didn't disappoint, with the title "Funplex" track and "Juliet of the Spirits" standing out as instant B-52s classics. Kinda wish the hairdos had been up, though. And I think Fred Schnieider is becoming a cranky old queen - he had quite a few sour looks on his face while everyone else seemed to be having fun. Oh, and Keith was HOT, HOT, HOT (both performance and looks-wise)!!!

Carson Kressley from "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" served as emcee for the evening and he had to vamp quite a lot during several long stage resets. He handled his hosting duties nicely, but his nervousness when he had to stretch his material made you wish a bit for the savvy comic timing of last year's host Margaret Cho.

Cyndi Lauper emerged for her set in a black-and-white-striped silk pajama-style pantsuit and black bowler hat and jumped atop a replica of the Statue of Liberty's torch while singing a rousing rendition of her classic "Change of Heart." Her high-energy set moved along at a fast pace, peppered with a lot of the dance-centric tunes from her new album. Cyndi launched herself into the audience quite a few times, and with me sitting in the second row at the foot of the stairs from the stage, she was in my face quite a bit - in fact, she laid across my lap and sang her new "Into the Nightlife." A highlight, at least for me!

Near the end of Cyndi's set, lead singer of The Cliks Lucas Silveria joined her for an electrifying rendition of "Money Changes Everything." It was fantastic!

During the encore, the entire cast emerged to launch giant balloons into the audience and sing "Everyday People" (they needed lyric sheets to accomplish this bit). Some unexplained faces appeared onstage with the performers, including actress Jane Lynch. The finale was a massive sing-a-long of the tour's signature tune, "True Colors." A great evening - looking forward to next year already! Lots more pics on my Flickr page.

From GraphJam.

Okay, I have been enjoying the coverage of the Olympic Qualifying Trials over the past couple of weeks, but being a non-sports person, one of the reasons I am tuning in is to see the incredible bodies of the athletes. This new "LZR Racer" swimsuit designed by Speedo is completely frustrating - what happened to little briefs?!? Not only is the suit a super-modest body cover-up, it might just be a bit of an unfair advantage: In the last 39 days, 14 world records have been set in the pool, and 13 of them have been in the newly designed swimsuit by Speedo. Proponents claim the new suits offer 5% less drag, water repellant fabric and an "internal core stabilizer" which helps the swimmer maintain form. Are there any swimming enthusiasts who know of similar periods where so many world records have been set in so short a time?

The lock on the trunk was busted (you had to jimmy it open with a screwdriver) and the roof leaked - not a pleasant experience in Florida's notorious late-afternoon downpours. The leak was so bad that the floor in the backseat would fill up with water like a swimming pool - the floor eventually rusted away and a hole opened up to the roadway below. But worst of all were the brakes, which failed often...once while driving six fellow students home from high school (we stopped when we hit a small log on the side of the road), and once while traveling on the downslope of a toll bridge, sending me careening through the toll booth area at 45 mph. Sold it (!) after the fan blades came flying off under the hood. Ahh, good times.

Jeannette, Philip and I sat in the front yard last night in an attempt to catch the annual not-quite-Fourth of July fireworks launched from the Altadena Country Club - they were only 45 minutes late and then ended abruptly with no finale. After we got in the car to take J down the street to her apartment, the finale finally commenced 20 MINUTES LATER. Nice. At least J got to see our insane next-door neighbor "Moonglow" shuffling slowly down the street in the dark - the 65-year-old mother was on a liquor store run. God Bless America!

Started a diet today in order to lose 25 pounds by our wedding date: September 12. I signed up to the Weight Watchers online site - it seems to work really well. You track your daily intake and weekly weight loss all online without having to go to an official "Fat Fighters" meeting to be humiliated by merciless Marjorie Dawes. The Fourth of July is probably not the best day to start a diet plan, huh? Wish me luck!

From GraphJam.

One word review: Creaky.

Celebrated my 45th birthday today. Co-worker Michelle blew up tons of balloons and decorated my desk in fine style!

The "Towering Inferno Cake" that co-worker Barbara made for me! Please note the presence of all of the film's stars. I almost ate Faye Dunaway by accident. There was also a replica of the scenic glass elevator. It was a fairly uneventful day at work, but on the way home things got interesting. First, my mother called to wish me Happy Birthday, but mostly to let me know that our choice of September 12 as a wedding date was inconvenient for her. Not because of prior commitments or anything, her hesitation is because Philip and I do not plan to hang around and act as tour guides for all of our various relatives who might be in town. I was in the middle of explaining that she is more than welcome to come BEFORE the wedding and hang out, but we lost our connection. Not more than 10 minutes later I got into a little fender-bender: I was driving along behind a little old lady (from Pasadena!) who decided at the last second not to proceed though a yellow light and abruptly slammed on her brakes. I did the same, but by sheer physics, the 40 feet between us was not enough to stop abruptly without hitting the rear of her car. No injuries and very minor damage (my front license plate fell off and her bumper was damaged). While I was exchanging information with her, my phone kept ringing - as I got into the car to head home, I checked the voicemail and it was our home security company, calling to tell me that our back door had been breached, and that the police were being called. I rushed home in a panic, fearful that someone had broken in and had hurt my dog Jake - but when I got there I found that it was Philip who had mistakenly entered the wrong disarm code.

Needless to say, my nerves were a complete wreck by the time Philip took me to dinner at Taylors Steak House, but they were soothed by a perfect Manhattan in a freezing cold martini glass. The steaks at Taylors, an old-time steak joint with red leather booths that has been in business since 1953, have been voted the best in LA. Despite the Weight Watchers diet I began on July 4, I indulged in Cream of Mushroom Soup, a medium-rare Filet Mignon with Baked Potato and Zucchini and a bit of Bread Pudding for dessert.

Philip gave me a new Nikon Coolpix camera for my birthday. We love our little pocket Coolpix, and this new one has a 18x zoom and can take 10 megapixel images. Can't wait to learn how to use it!

OK, I'm a huge fan of the iPhone, but seriously people, this is a little out of hand. This is the third day of tremendously long lines at all of the Apple Stores here in Los Angeles, with the wait at the Pasadena store topping out at SIX HOURS yesterday. Um, I 'm guessing Apple has reached the correct price point to capture the masses.

Our custom-printed wedding invites from Wedding Paper Divas arrived today! Super-fast turnaround - I ordered them just four days ago. Really pleased with how they came out...now I just have to sit down and address them all...

Arizona 456 YVX - Has a plate-holder from Barber Volkswagen in Ventura, California!

California 5CJT217 - Expired in April 2008!

Tasted wedding cake samples at Pastries by Nancy this morning. There were all tasty and great, especially the red velvet and the chocolate-vanilla marble, but we ultimately liked the lemon cake with lemon cream the best. We decided to go with a two-tier round version, similar to the one pictured above. Another choice made and one more task to check off on the "Wedding To Do List."

OMG - Loving "Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog," a new three-part musical miniseries produced specifically for the Internets by "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" creator Joss Whedon. Neil Patrick Harris is brilliant in the part of the nerdy supervillain, and the songs are great!

Lost 3 more pounds, for a total of 15 now...steady as she goes, despite the eating binge I went on while Philip was out of the house watching the new Batman film on Tuesday night.

Woo! Our fridge has been posted on Fridgewatcher.com, a new site where people open their fridges to others via the Internets. Cause, like their slogan says, every fridge tells a story. Visit and behold the contents of my food preparation area cooling unit.

A Qantas jumbo jet carrying 345 passengers made an emergency landing Friday with a gaping hole in its fuselage after a mysterious "explosive decompression," officials said.

There were no injuries, but some passengers vomited after disembarking the Boeing 747-400, said Octavio Lina, Manila International Airport Authority deputy manager for operations.

Wow!

The best part? Flight attendants continued with their meal service even AFTER the oxygen masks dropped. Maybe that was the cause of the post-landing vomiting.

A strong earthquake centered in Chino (east of Los Angeles) occurred this morning just before noon Pacific, causing only light damage despite a magnitude of 5.4 on the Richter scale. I was in a (rather dull) interviewing skills class in a 21st floor conference room when the quake struck. Lots of bouncing, then we had to go back to the coursework. Feh. The instructor had flown in from NYC - she had just finished telling an anecdote about 9/11 (you can't make this kind of thing up) when the conference room started rockin' and rollin'. She didn't miss a beat though - we just kept plowing forward after the building safety announcement that all was well. Of course none of us in LA feel better after an earthquake until we hear from Caltech's quake expert and "lesbian-in-charge," Kate Hutton. (I don't know if Kate IS a lesbian, just saying she has that can-do, no-nonsense attitude.)

Lost 3 more pounds, for a total of 18 - really hasn't been that much trouble to do at all. Might keep going after reaching my goal.

Went with Philip and co-worker Jeannette to see the Los Angeles Dodgers take on the Arizona Diamondbacks at Dodger Stadium last night. Even though the Dodgers lost (which they seem to do every time I attend), we still had a great time, munching on peanuts and ginormous Dodger Dogs despite our Weight Watchers diets. Got a chance to try out my new camera and captured some nice action shots:

One reason to wish you were in Beijing for the Olympics this summer: a dazzling botanical display in the Olympic Topiary Gardens, located at the Science and Technology Park near the Olympic Village.

Am I the only gay man from the South that doesn't think this is all that great - or funny? I get what it is trying to be - but it just doesn't work on so many levels. It's just a clumsily acted, long-winded cornpone satire that makes "The Beverly Hillbillies" look like Shakespeare. Loud and obnoxious, but not in the least bit "sordid."

Lost 2 more pounds this week - up to a total of 20 now! Woo!

...and George Bush, seen on camera in the stands, looked bored and checked his watch.

Philip and I went down to the Kodak Theatre in Hollywood last night to see British comedian Eddie Izzard in his new stand-up set titled "Stripped." He was brilliant. Looking dapper in a black tuxedo jacket and jeans, he started the two-hour-plus set (!) by stating that he was prepared to talk to us about "everything," and he did: Wikipedia, the beginnings of the world, iPhones, life, the universe, dinosaurs, hunters vs. gatherers, how giraffes could possibly hide in the wilds of Africa, how there were millions of ducks after the Noah’s Ark flood because they couldn’t drown, and long riffs about how there could not possibly be a God up there manipulating all of this. Very funny, very insightful and very intelligent, it was a great evening of theatre.

Prior to our fab time at the Eddie Izzard show, Philip and I ate at Geisha House, a wild Hollywood set-decorator's vision of a sushi bar with a traditional Japanese brothel feel. It's a hip scene kinda place where clubkids go to pose and be seen, but suprisingly, the food and service were great.

The long lines have finally subsided here in Pasadena, so I succumbed this week and purchased a new 3G iPhone. Love the faster network - but I don't think the black plastic case is all that great - I miss the stainless steel backside.

My manga avatar. Create your own at FaceYourManga.com.

Lost another 1.4 pounds this week - up to a total of 22 now!

Just got my copy of a new coffee table book from Harry Abrams about one of my favorite childhood memories: Wacky Packages. The book features images of all the stickers from Series 1-7 released from 1973-74, as well as interviews with creator Art Spiegelman AND, wowzers, exclusive bonus stickers:

Another hilarious video from Los Angeles singer/comedienne Mandy Steckelberg: "I Hate Everyone." A sentiment I often share. Some lyrics NSFW, in case you're listening with the boss nearby. Love you, Mandy - hope you break big one of these days! (If only "The Mike Douglas Show" was still around - HE would have you on!)

Well dang, I only hope I look half as happy as these two on my wedding day! How could you vote yes for that hateful Prop 8 after seeing this kind of joy?

Exceedingly disappointed with George Lucas. Apparently the new animated "Clone Wars" film features an effeminate villain named Ziro the Hut, who sounds suspiciously like Truman Capote and wears make-up, feathers and jewelry. Has Lucas lost all touch with reality? Why insult gay people with crap like this - it's 2008! What happened to the creative genius who gave us the original trilogy? Must we concede all the goodwill those first three films generated to the bad judgements that are on display in the last four?

You know you've reached the mainstream when Hallmark starts offering a card based on your "niche." Pictured above, some of the same-sex wedding cards that Hallmark has added to its collection since gay marriages became legal in Massachusetts and California.

THIS is why the current crop of parody movies suck. The one-sheet for the new film "Disaster Movie" shows you that what is mostly being satirized doesn't have ANYTHING to do with disaster cinema: Batman, Juno, Indiana Jones, Hulk, Kung Fu Pandas, Iron Man, Enchanted...umm, why not just call it "Parody of Summer Movies?" Like "Epic Movie," the satire is so scattershot that it just becomes an unfunny jumbled mess.

One last wedding choice taken care of...we've hired Alyson Montez and Brittany Cotto to play a violin duet throughout the evening. Alyson is lead violinist for the Mariachi Divas,a renowned all-female mariachi band, and Brittany is currently running the String Project with the American Youth Symphony and LA's BEST.Can't wait to hear them play!

Downloaded the demo of "Star Wars: The Force Unleashed" on Xbox LIVE last night. I enjoyed the "Knights of the Old Republic" video game more than any of the three recent "Star Wars" films (and it's the only game I have ever played all the way through to the end). The demo version treats you to an early level and it is AMAZING! The "force push" power offers great gameplay as you hurl objects (and people) through the air. The environments are incredibly detailed and it looks like the story will be a thrilling addition to the "Star Wars" canon. Wow, something good from George Lucas for a change!

Woo! The gays brought home the gold at the 2008 Olympics - six of the thirteen lesbian and bisexual women openly competing at the 2008 Summer Games in Beijing ended up winning gold, silver, or bronze medals. And the sole openly gay male athlete, Australian diver Matthew Mitcham, took home the gold in the men’s 10m platform event - with his partner watching proudly in the stands. Oh, didn't see that bit, you say? That's because NBC never mentioned Matt's sexuality or his personal life (but why - network anchors breathlessly discussed the various spouses, boyfriends and girlfriends of the hetero athletes). Anyway, yay my team!

You don't see too many hitchhikers in the United States these days, though that may soon be changing with the soaring costs of gasoline and air travel. Back in college, I was pulling a different kind of "all-nighter": driving the Florida Turnpike from Miami back to school in Gainesville. I stopped at one of the turnpike's "Service Plazas" to take a leak (really the only reason one WOULD want to stop at one of the state-sanctioned service stops, except for the cool machine that used to press molten plastic into fun Florida shapes, like an alligator). I was driving my new Pontiac Firebird (you know the one, with the glass t-top roof and a screaming bird decal on the hood) and had just scampered across the dark parking lot to lock myself safely into my new car - when there came a knock at the driver-side window.

A scruffy guy in his 40s peered at me through the tinted glass. He was mouthing something - what? I lowered the window and he asked if he could get a lift to the end of the turnpike. When I hesitated, he explained that he was a long-haul trucker and he was scheduled to meet up with his new driving partner at the final exit - Wildwood. This all sounded plausible to me, and being 21, I agreed to let him ride along with me. We exchanged a few pleasantries as I pulled back onto the highway, but the conversation soon became awkward and stilted as we realized we had nothing in common to talk about. As he grew silent (and brooding!!) my mind started to race: WHAT HAVE I DONE? AM I CRAZY? THIS GUY IS A KILLER! OH MY GOD - WHAT AN IDIOT I AM!! I stared straight ahead at the white line on the highway, fearful that the next glance at my new passenger would provoke his rage. My mind reeled. I kept this up for at least 30 minutes, cursing myself endlessly - then the guy let out a huge snore.

Yeah, he pretty much slept to Wildwood. When we reached the truck stop, I had to jostle his shoulder and shout to wake him up, in fact. He thanked me profusely, gave me a couple dollars for gas and was on his way.

The gals at the office threw me a surprise Hawaiian-themed wedding shower today! We had a robust local boy lunch: pulled pork, white rice, potato salad and pineapple upside-down cake - those fab tropical print shirt things I'm holding were the plates. Barbara decorated the room, not only with all manner of Hawaiiana, but she also had the whole history of my relationship with Philip mapped out around the conference table, with captions and pics (swiped from my website). We had a great time - if you would have told me when I was a kid that one day my co-workers would throw a wedding shower in my honor...sigh. A close-up of my lunch:

Wow, what a speech by Obama tonight! Compelling, inspirational, and right-on-target, it was truly an amazing thing to watch...the sense of history being made was palpable and beamed right at you from the television screen. Truly electric.

And this week's weight is...199.6 pounds - for a total loss of 25.4 pounds!

Britney Spears' Cheetos Chicken Casserole

Ingredients: 4 to 6 chicken breasts cooked and cut into bite-sized pieces
1 can of cream of chicken soup
4 hard boiled eggs
1 onion diced
1/4 c. mayonnaise
1/4 to 1/2 c. chopped celery
1 bag of Crushed Cheetos for topping

Directions:
1) Mix above ingredients together and put into casserole dish
2) Crush enough Cheetos to cover top
3) Bake in 350 degree oven for 30 minutes

Philip and I have been captivated by the Hawaiian island of Lanai. With a population of 3,000 and no traffic light in sight, it has put us into a state of relaxed bliss.

The Four Seasons Manele Bay and Lodge at Koele are superlative in every way, from the outstanding service to the delicious food. We've spent days lounging on the beach, horseback riding and driving a jeep all over the island. At one point we were on an 8-mile stretch of beach...all alone.

Lots more pics on my Travels - Lanai page.

Read quite a book over the Hawaiian vacation: "The Resurrectionist" by Jack O'Connell. A quite unnerving suspense-noir blend that made me think simultaneously of "Twin Peaks," "Carnivale" and "Kingdom Hospital."

Been thinking about getting an Amazon Kindle for a while - and after a woman in Hawaii let me play with hers, I had to have one. It really works well - you can store a couple hundred books, downloads of new books from Amazon are fast and cheap, and reading from the screen is easy. I know, I know, I am a technology freak. There are worse vices.

I'm enjoying the new HBO vampire series "True Blood." Like "Six Feet Under," I wasn't thrilled with the first couple of episodes, but the characterizations are growing on me. And hoo-faa! - Whoever cast this show deserves an Emmy - all the men are off-the-charts in terms of hawtness:

Wow, TV suddenly got interesting again - and all the good stuff seems to be on HBO. Yay, yay, yay - my favorite British comedy of late has premiered in an American version - but instead of recasting and retooling for the States, the original creators and performers are now on this side of the pond in "Little Britain USA." The U.S. critics are hating it - saying it is only potty humor - but the premiere was awfully funny to me. And it has to assuredly be better than the remake of "Kath & Kim." Can't wait for more!

Yay, it's back! Boo, I didn't like the first episode of this second season quite as much as I wanted to. Writing was just okay, snappy but somehow not as fun as it should be - and the mystery was pretty straightforward without any real surprises. Did not like that Olive was banished to a nunnery, no sir! Still, WAY better than most of the slop on TV these days (THREE nights of "Dancing With the Stars?" "Survivor" number 206? Really? We need that?)

from Californians Against Hate. The links in the image don't actually work - go to the website for more details on all of these scalawags.

One of our favorite places to eat, Michelangelo Ristorante in Silver Lake, just moved to a bigger location and got a great review in the LA Times. So happy for these guys - we've been customers since they opened in 1997 and know what a roller-coaster-ride it has been for them recently.

_____________________

Neighborhood Favorite Packs the House After a Big Move
By Jessica Gelt, Los Angeles Times, September 29, 2008

SINCE opening in modest Silver Lake digs more than a decade ago, Michelangelo RistoranteMichelangelo Ristorante has been one of the neighborhood's best-kept secrets. Now that it has moved to a larger location on Rowena Avenue, the cannoli is out of the bag. It isn't uncommon to see a line out front, and prime-time weekend reservations are harder to come by.

This may not please its regulars, but it's a welcome development for the genial Italian brothers who own the place and run it with the help of several family members.

"It was very hard for us" when Michelangelo opened in 1997, says Antonio Stifano, who handles the business side of things while his brother Giuseppe cooks with the help, and recipes, of their mother, Domenica Simone. "We were just happy to have food and a job. We were dragging people in saying, 'Try our pizza.' "

The brothers were born to Italian immigrant parents in Caracas, Venezuela, where their aunt and uncle ran an Italian restaurant that employed their mother. "She was always feeding us with the dishes that people are craving now," says Antonio Stifano, who speaks Italian, Spanish and English fluently. His linguistic skills serve him well. Part of Michelangelo's allure is the brothers' penchant for chatting with the customers. "This is where we live," he says. "This dining room is where people come to visit us."

The new Michelangelo is indeed a homey destination. It occupies the spot that once housed Flor Morena, and Antonio Stifano designed and decorated it himself. An exposed concrete ceiling and pillars complement elaborate glass-crystal chandeliers; slender rectangular windows with wooden shutters look out on a bustling patio; polished nut-brown wood tables sit astride plush banquettes; and thoughtful flourishes -- a gilded mirror here, a vase of flowers there -- are everywhere.

However, the food -- traditional, made-from-scratch Italian cuisine -- is the draw. Start off your meal with the creamy homemade burrata mozzarella on toasted bread with roasted red peppers or the crisp bresaola salad made with fresh dark greens and salty, thin slices of cured beef.

Pappardelle alla Domenica, a rich mixture of Italian sausage sautéed with garlic, fresh tomato, spinach and olive oil tossed with fettuccine, is one such dish, as is the light linguini vongole, with sautéed Manila clams in a tangy garlic and white wine sauce; and the flaky filet of sole. For meat you'll find filling portions of buttery, grilled rib-eye steak, pounded veal Florentina with lemon and caper and pollo alla carciofi, which pairs chicken breast with a white wine and artichoke-heart sauce.

The brothers are already planning weekend brunch and have started serving lunch.

"Before we used to have days off," says Antonio Stifano. "Now we're going all the time, but I can't wait to do more."

via BuzzFeed.

Wow wee! A map of all the disasters happening all over the world right now, in real time.

The Connecticut Supreme Court gave gay and lesbian couples the right to marry today, ruling that civil unions relegate them to a "separate" and "inferior status" that falls short of full equality. Wow, only 47 more to go!

This afternoon Philip and I attended a matinee of "9 to 5," the new Broadway-bound musical created by Dolly Parton and the film's original screenwriter, Patricia Resnick. It's a fun show and I did laugh a lot, but, as Dolly might say in her Tennessee twang, "Well, it ain't the greatest thing I've ever seen." The cast is strong, with great performances from Megan Hilty and Stephanie J. Block (doing a spot-on homage to Dolly's Doralee character), but I was initially put off by Allison Janney's inability to hold a musical note. After a while though, I gave in to her acting charms - hell, if Lauren Bacall could sing in a musical, why not Allison Janney? The sets and direction are technically gorgeous and the staging of the fantasy sequence where the gals dream of killing Mr. Hart in various ways is adapted from the film in very clever ways. Choreography is a bit clunky, though, and some of the country cornpone could be toned down a notch. Additionally, the show seems out of balance - the first act is REALLY LONG, and the second act is REALLY SHORT, so the wrap-up feels very rushed and a bit unsatisfying. With a bit of retooling, this could be a huge hit on Broadway - the masses will adore it.

Fun apocalyptic image via Better Homes and Gardens.com.

Fun apocalyptic image via laist.com.

Who's more cantankerous? In Column A, there's humorless Mark Wahlberg, who got pissy over a recent "Saturday Night Live" skit in which he was portrayed talking to barnyard animals. In Column B we have Ringo Starr, who rejects any further attention from fans in an irritable video in which he repeats "Peace and Love" in an expressionless monotone. Cast your vote by dialing "Irascible Idols" and pressing 1 or 2.

A terrific PSA that lays it on the line about Prop 8. Hope this gets played a zillion times between now and November 4.

Can I just say that it is incredible to me that someone would sit in a public bathroom stall and carry on a conversation on their cell phone. How exactly do you explain the flushes and other noises to the party on the other end of the conversation? And how am I supposed to relax enough to do my business when you are chatting up Grandma in the next stall? Do us all a favor, don't answer until you get off the pot, thanks.

A Halloween cocktail suggestion for your consideration: The Brain Hemorrhage. Looks cool, supposedly tastes like Peaches and Cream. The recipe:

Take 1/2 - 3/4 oz. Peach Schnapps Float 1-2 Tbl. of Baileys on top Drop 1 tsp of grenadine through the Baileys

The new Mrs. Paul? Yes, that's right - unbelievably, David Beckham has some fish sticks to sell you. It's unclear whether or not they come with little packets of tartar sauce mix (mmm...frozen pickle relish).

I get this catalog in the mail every now and again from a high-end leisure clothing retailer called J.L. Powell, and it's filled with pics of this uber-masculine model. He's got a scruffy face and is pictured doing lots of manly-type things like wading in rivers and flying in cargo planes. Not sure it makes me want to buy a $200 plaid shirt or a $600 pair of waders, but it sure is fun to look at...

Hilarity always ensues - here's a NSFW clip from a previous show:

From Apple's "Hot News" page: "Apple is publicly opposing Proposition 8 and making a donation of $100,000 to the No on 8 campaign. Apple was among the first California companies to offer equal rights and benefits to our employees’ same-sex partners, and we strongly believe that a person’s fundamental rights — including the right to marry — should not be affected by their sexual orientation. Apple views this as a civil rights issue, rather than just a political issue, and is therefore speaking out publicly against Proposition 8." Makes me glad I have given them so much of my money over the years!

Some shots of the spooky graveyard that I created in the front yard this year. The fog machine will be on full tilt tonight, and we have some awesome candy for the roaming ghouls!

Halloween may be over, but the thought of permanent same-sex marriage on the books is frightening some California residents. From the Orange County Register: Peggy and Terence Carey of Fullerton adjust wind-blown signs after placing 54 'Yes on 8' signs on their front lawns.

From the New York Times: "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?"

Wow! Wow! Wow!

From the Los Angeles Times today: "Bob Knoke, of Mission Viejo, Amanda Stanfield, of Monrovia, Jim Domen, of Yorba Linda, and J.D. Gaddis, of Yorba Linda, celebrate returns for Proposition 8 at an Irvine hotel."

Why are they SO happy? Wow, depriving others of their civil rights must be quite a heady thrill. Jesus would be so proud of them and their accomplishment, no?

All the presidents' heads. From PatrickMoberg.com.

From the Los Angeles Times: Demonstrators take to the streets by the thousands Thursday at the Mormon temple in Westwood to protest against Proposition 8. Philip went to the protest last night in West Hollywood with 15 of his co-workers.
Keep hope alive.

Jake lounging in the backyard yesterday afternoon.

Next Saturday, November 15, in cities all over the country. 10:30 am Pacific / 1:30 pm Eastern.

"According to Government Technology, engineers at the University of Washington have developed contact lenses with integrated circuitry. Although the lenses have only been tested on animals, researchers are working on having electronic lenses overlay a display over a person's visual field without impairing sight. Researchers hope that the lenses, once completed, will allow users to zoom in on distant objects and see useful facts. Future applications might allow drivers and pilots to see their direction and speed projected across their view or to surf the Web without a monitor. The circuit components would be powered by integrated solar cells and a wireless radio-frequency receiver." via The Huffington Post

Wow-wee! The future promised in the 1970s is finally here!

Keith Olbermann eloquently spoke out about Prop 8 and the meaning of marriage on tonight's "Countdown."

Wow, today's anti-Prop 8 protest in downtown Los Angeles was the tonic my disheartened soul needed. How thrilling to be in such a throng of supporters! We had rousing speeches from the mayor, city attorney and others - and were cheered on by Matt Lucas from "Little Britain," Ricki Lake and Xena herself, Lucy Lawless. Pic above featuring Barry, Dudley and Philip is from my camera. Pics below from the Associated Press (!) including one of Philip and I with the signs and "Defend Equality" t-shirts we made last night.

Barbara Eden's Crab-Stuffed Mushrooms
24 large mushrooms
2 1/2 teaspoons olive oil
4 tablespoons grated Romano cheese
2 tablespoons fresh parsley, chopped
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon fresh ground black pepper
8 ounces cream cheese, softened
1 1/2 tablespoons bread crumbs
4 ounces crabmeat, rinsed and tossed
with 1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
Juice of 1/2 lemon
1 1/2 teaspoons cognac
1 teaspoon Dijon mustard

Remove mushroom stems. Combine 2 tablespoons of the Romano cheese with remaining ingredients in a bowl; beat with mixer for 5 minutes. Fill mushrooms with a 1/2-inch crown left on top.

Lightly butter a large baking sheet and arrange stuffed mushrooms with a space between. Bake 10 minutes. Remove mushrooms from oven; sprinkle with remaining 2 tablespoons Romano cheese. Heat broiler.

Place mushrooms under broiler until cheese is melted and golden brown. Oh, Master!

Loving this song...!

The facts are these:
I learned today that one of my favorite shows, "Pushing Daisies," was canceled - 410 days, 18 hours and 52 seconds after its premiere. And they are going to leave us with a cliffhanger on the last episode. Feh. This was just a matter of time, the writing and art direction were far too clever for middle-America. Bring on another night of "Dancing With the Stars!"

Philip and I had a fab time at the matinee performance of "Xanadu" at the La Jolla Playhouse yesterday. The play is great, great fun - a terrific spoof of the beloved 80's film flop, filled with lotsa laughs and all of the terrific ELO / Olivia Newton John tunes that I grew up with. Elizabeth Stanley is an excellent Kira - she's got great big expressive eyes, wonderful comic timing and a perfectly horrible Aussie accent. Max von Essen is very, very funny as the dopey Sonny, even though his thighs aren't nearly as impressive as those found on Broadway's Cheyenne Jackson. Much of the parody (and its very gay sensibility) seemed to be lost on the senior citizens that comprised 80% of the audience, though - they sat stony-faced and silent through much of the 90 minutes, and especially didn't like the jokes about Andrew Lloyd Webber and Southern California. No matter. I had a huge dopey grin on my face the entire time and Philip had a blast. Can a stage version of "Can't Stop the Music" be on the horizon??

• Triple insulated walls, ceilings and doors.

• Decibel meters on guest room doors - each slam over 70 dB after 8:00 pm and before 10 am will result in an automatic $25.00 charge to the offender's guest bill.

• Security cameras will cover every inch of the hallways, and any voices raised above 70dB after 8:00 pm will trigger automatic photography of the offenders. Pics will be posted on screens in the lobby and on in-room television channels, with mocking caption phrases superimposed a la "Blind Date."

• Ambient noise channels on in-room televisions will have black screens and sound selections such as "Ocean Waves," "Babbling Brook" and "White Noise."

• Parents allowing children to run amok at any time of day will be immediately arrested and charged with disturbing the peace. Additionally, parents placing a diapered baby in the swimming pool will be immediately arrested and charged with creating a public health hazard.

• In addition to regular housekeeping, rooms will be sanitized by blasts of UV light from devices embedded in walls and ceilings.

• TV remotes will be sprayed with Lysol by housekeepers after each check-out. Lysol cans will also be provided in each bathroom.

• Hallways will be monitored and patrolled to immediately remove used room service trays - no more having to look at a gnawed chicken bone and half a glass of Merlot as you head back to your room.

• Air conditioning and heating controls will be independent in each room and will be guaranteed to take the room to whatever temperature the guest desires, no matter what the weather is like outside. Want to run the a/c in winter or the heat in summer? No problem, your wish is our command!

WOW! I triple-love the 120-foot Sea Serpent balloon that appeared in the 1938 Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade! Via design:related.com.

Making fresh cranberry-orange-ginger relish:

Baking a chocolate pecan pie:

Preparing the stuffing:

Stuffed and buttered bird:

Preparing the Green Bean and Artichoke casserole:

Preparing the Corn Souffle:

Turkey after roastng:

Finished Corn Souffle:

Finished Green Bean and Artichoke Casserole:

Finished dishes:

And the end result:

Purchased this year's tree at our favorite tree spot, a giant lot at the Present Perfect Nursery in Pasadena. Great selection, negotiable prices and they load it up and tie it down for you. I have to say I also love the giant, faintly evil-looking fiberglass Santa that presides over the place.

Once we got the tree home, Philip set to putting the lights on - with the caveat that he was only to put one string in each extension cord socket slot and not double or triple up with piggybacked light sets (last year he managed to MELT a couple of extension cords with the intense heat). Jeannette stopped by to return a stepladder she had borrowed, so we set her to work putting on the ornaments. By the time we finished, I started feeling achy all over and my sinuses started to collapse...

...like this little bit of fun, "Prop 8 - The Musical." In case you haven't already seen it, the comedic song-and-dance diatribe about the California ballot initiative against same-sex marriage was written and assembled in less than a week by "Hairspray" composer Marc Shaiman and stars a cast of dozens, including John C. Reilly, Allison Janney, Neil Patrick Harris, Margaret Cho, Maya Rudolph and Jack Black as Jesus. In just one day on the net, it became an instant sensation, receiving more than 1.2 million hits. Naturally, the Christian Anti-Defamation Commission now wants an apology from Mr. Black and the other participants...mostly because Jack Black is fat and Jesus was not - they feel obliged to mention his being "rotund" in their letter of outrage.

• Discovery Channel's "Cash Cab": "We had an awesome time!"

• Discovery Channel's "Mythbusters": Whenever there is an explosion - "Awesome!"

• Food Network: Practically every other word out of Guy Fieri's mouth is "Awesome!" The butter is "Awesome!" The broiled steak is "Awesome!"

• Bravo: "The Real Housewives of Orange County" think they invented the word.

• Travel Channel's "Walt Disney World Tips": "Awesome job!" (This was yelled at a child disembarking from the Buzz Lightyear attraction.) Moments later, mother says "Let's head to another ride" to which the response is "Awesome!" Then a minute or two later we are told that the food at the Wilderness Lodge is "awesome!" I had to turn away before my head exploded.

There are scores more examples, but they are lost to my NyQuil haze. Please people, I beseech you...when you hear this exclaimed for some rather ordinary event, politely inform the speaker that it really isn't necessary to classify EVERYTHING as AWESOME!

Is that Willy Wonka running for the exit slide in illustration five? Source: i36.tinypic.com.

Am I the only male in his mid-forties that read these weird "Partridge Family" mysteries as a kid? Weird because, really, were the Partridges normally in the habit of solving mysteries? It's like an alternate universe version of the TV show in which the comedy is replaced by ominous crime and danger. I have to say that "The Haunted Hall," "Terror by Night" and "Marked for Terror" scared the crap out of me when I was a tween. I bailed after #14, oddly entitled "Thirteen at Killer Gorge" (couldn't they have made this one #13??)

I am oddly intrigued with this show on the Planet Green channel, "supperclub with Tom Bergeron." As pretentious as the purposeful run-together lower-capitalization of the title implies, viewers are treated as silent guests at a "green" dinner party hosted by semi-annoying Tom Bergeron in an "eco-friendly" house in Venice, California. Ay yi yi! The most recent one had a panel of guests that included the faintly self-righteous founder of TreePeople and Albert Brooks' brother, Bob Einstein, who was cantankerous and annoying to everyone in attendance. Seriously, he has become more whiny than Larry David if that's even possible. The most compelling element? The "Sturgeon Confit" was prepared by Harrison Ford's unbelievably magnetic son, chef Ben Ford:

If this troubled elf's name is Hermey, why does everyone call him "Herbie?"

What exactly was the problem that made this doll a "misfit?"

And if Snow Miser and Heat Miser are both Mother Natures' sons, why does Snow Miser refer to Heat Miser as his "step-brother?" They would be half-brothers, no? And what kind of marriage / divorce sequence went on there?

An ingenious use of the materials at hand yields a useful iPhone accessory for your next plane flight. Hey, it sure beats letting your arm get all tired out from holding it up trying to watch a feature length film! Source: Hodenmumps.to

Nothing quite satisfies the craving for fried breaded fish, processed orange cheese, and gloppy, tangy, pickle-studded mayonnaise on a soft, squishy bun. And if there is enough tartar sauce dripped out to dunk the fries in, even better. Yea or Nay?
(When I'm sick this is one food I always get a craving for...and apparently they're a detainee favorite at Guantanamo Bay...not sure what either of those things mean.)

Florida Governor Charlie Crist married businesswoman Carole Rome in St. Pete last night. I guess gay people CAN get married in Florida!

Michael Jackson did some Christmas shopping in Los Angeles yesterday. Odd and frightening, yes, but the scariest of all the images? The backseat of the limo:

What's with the photo collage of babies? Chills. And not the Christmas snow kind.

Just in time for Christmas, a Japanese TV program humiliates cats by placing them in cutesy outfits for your enjoyment.

Beamin' at you from 1977: "The Carpenters at Christmas" with special guests Kristy McNichol and Harvey Korman!

President Bush's official portrait was unveiled at the Smithsonian today. This is how he greeted it. Kind of sums things up, no?

Michael Derry at Troy Comics pretty much sums up how a lot of gay folks feel about Barack Obama's choice to have right-winger Rev. Rick Warren officiate at his inauguration.

The GI Joe Action Adventurer Talking Commander and his Scout Helicopter. Wow, I loved patrolling the backyard with that big yellow copter with its clear windscreen - it was HUGE!

USB Cassette Adapter (transfers your cassette tapes to MP3s) Ultimate Ears Super.Fi Headphones "Mystery of the Abbey" Board Game "Arkham Horror" Board Game "Wii Music"

"TV Show King Party" for Wii "The Price is Right" for Wii The latest installment of "Futurama" on DVD Season 1 of "Pushing Daisies" on DVD A pair of blue jeans

Clairisonic Face Scrubbing System A wallet A neck scarf Department store gift cards and a bunch of edible goodies, including "Redneck Spices"

This is James Joseph Cialella of Philadelphia. A father and son were talking during a Christmas day screening of “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.” Talking during a movie is extremely rude, so Mr. Cialella decided to put a stop to it. By shooting the father in the left arm with a .380-caliber handgun. He then sat back down and continued watching the movie, while everyone around him fled the theater and the police rushed to the scene. Psychopath or heroic vigilante: you be the judge. (Well, the shooter is crazy. But it IS annoying when people talk during a movie, even when they are small children, and it's Christmas. Did I tell you about the time this twenty-something gal in the row behind me put her dirty shoe next to my head during a screening of "Casino Royale?")

From cornpone queen Paula Deen we have a dish called "The Lady's Brunch Burger." Yeah, I don't know what lady is eating this - it's a hamburger topped with a fried egg and bacon, served on a glazed doughnut. Ingredients 1 1/2 pounds ground beef 3 tablespoons freshly chopped parsley leaves 2 tablespoons grated onion House Seasoning 2 tablespoons butter 3 eggs 6 slices bacon, cooked 3 hamburger buns 3 English muffins 6 glazed donuts Directions Mix the ground beef, chopped parsley and grated onion together in a large mixing bowl. Season liberally, with House Seasoning. Form 3 hamburger patties. Heat a large cast iron skillet over medium-high heat and spray with non-stick cooking spray. Add the burgers and cook until desired temperature, 4 to 5 minutes per side for medium-rare. Fry bacon in a hot pan until crisp. Remove and drain on paper towels. Set aside. While burgers are cooking, heat a non-stick pan, over medium heat. Add 2 tablespoons butter. Crack 3 eggs into the pan. Cook until the yolks are just set and still slightly runny and remove. Place burger patties on English muffins or buns, and if desired, on glazed donuts, as the buns. Top each burger with 2 pieces of bacon and a fried egg.