Been watching a lot of movies while I continue (sigh) to recover from surgery...

Capsule review: Bisexual surfer Zach pines to be an artist and has an affair with his best friend's older brother. Good actors and nice production values, but the plot has more holes than Dunkin' Donuts - why is Zach's paralyzed father never seen or dealt with, even at the "parting ways with his bitch sister" conclusion? Man, that ending makes it seem like daddy raised some self-centered kids! They both leave town to presumably let him rot. Meh. One icepack.

Capsule review: Congressman Tom Hanks talks with a heavy Texas accent, Julia Roberts is a rich lady with thick mascara, and pottymouth Philip Seymore Hoffman wears ugly sunglasses, even indoors. Clever and intelligent script about modern government subversiveness. Three icepacks.

Capsule review: Janet Leigh is attacked by a shark while washing dishes, Richard Dreyfuss lip-synchs to bad 1960s pop tunes and Merv Griffin arrives in a submarine.

OMG I'm loving the new Cyndi Lauper album "Bring Ya to the Brink"!! Like I said about the recent B-52's album, so what if she's in her 50s - she still sounds great!! Of course I disagree with the critics who have weighed in so far - the songs they say are the best, meh. The songs they hate, I love, like "Grab a Hold." Can't wait to see her and The B-52s on the True Colors tour.

One-word review: Vicodin.

Well, here I am on the other side of my "excision of groin mass" procedure, and I am recovering nicely. The Vicodin every few hours certainly makes it bearable. We're pleased to announce that the "unknown mass" was in fact sutures left over from a hernia operation I had when I was a little kid. Can I get some compensation from Memorial Hospital in Hollywood Florida for that?? I must say the staff at Providence / St. Joseph Medical Center were all terrific: friendly, helpful and they truly seemed to care, even though it was crazy busy the day I was there - they must have performed close to a hundred surgeries on Wednesday. Can I just say what an odd thing it is to be fully conscious when you are wheeled down the hall and into your surgical suite? And odder still, being asked to scooch off your rolling bed onto the cold operating table and have your arms splayed out left and right on padded boards like a crucifix. I think having your legs belted down and a mask placed over your face while a Bose Stereo System plays "cool Jazz" really completes the surreal scenario. No, wait, the simultaneous fire alarm test and announcement that mass will be celebrated in the chapel and on the hospital's in-house channel 6 - THAT completes the surreal scenario. A couple of questions: Why do 10 family members feel they must come down to the hospital and sit in the waiting room for one patient? The waiting room (where you also have to wait to be called into the surgical suite, by the way) only seats 25 or so people, so when each patient has 10 visitors waiting on them, it GETS A BIT CROWDED. Also, why shave only two-thirds of a person's groin when it is being operated on? What is the point of leaving hair on the remaining third? Seeing that post-surgery is more frightening than seeing the bloody bandages, in my opinion.

I'm off to St. Joseph's Hospital in Burbank for a 9:15 surgery appointment to remove this "unknown mass" in my groin. Not looking forward to the nausea from the anesthesia or to the pain from the cutting of my flesh...sigh.

Late to the party on this one, but loving it all the same. "The Venture Bros." chronicles the adventures of two dopey teenage boys, Hank and Dean Venture; their super-scientist father, Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture; and family bodyguard/secret agent Brock Samson. It hilariously pays homage to a variety of sources, including adventure serials, pulp magazines, television shows, movies, toys, fads, and comic books...but mostly it's a supremely funny riff on "Jonny Quest." Just getting caught up with Seasons 1 and 2 in preparation for Season 3's June 1 premiere on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim block. Can't wait!

I don't give a crap who the 13th Cylon is.

After much shopping around for the best deal, Philip has finally traded in his old car for a new 2008 BMW 335i. Only took about five weeks to get the best price for his trade-in and on the new vehicle! The best part of the car to me is the technology - he can synch his iPhone to the car by Bluetooth as well as the iPod functions via a built-in USB interface. Everything can be controlled from his steering wheel - very nice!

A very clever SNL parody of one of my favorite game shows. Although I think they confused Paul Lynde with Charles Nelson Reilly - an outrageous error!

The conservative Alliance Defense Fund is already petitioning the California Supreme Court to delay any same-sex marriages until after November's ballot measure vote. If the court does not grant the request, gay marriages could begin in California in as little as 30 days.

From SFGate: "In a monumental victory for the gay rights movement, the California Supreme Court overturned a voter-approved ban on gay marriage Thursday in a ruling that would allow same-sex couples in the nation's biggest state to tie the knot. Domestic partnerships are not a good enough substitute for marriage, the justices ruled 4-3 in an opinion written by Chief Justice Ron George. Outside the courthouse, gay marriage supporters cried and cheered as news spread of the decision." HOORAY, HOORAY, HOORAY!!! At last, I will get the wedding presents that I should have received 22 years ago!

Philip and I spent a long weekend in Maui - I got a great low airfare on United in February - and we had a great time at the fabulous Four Seasons in Wailea. With my upcoming surgery I didn't do anything but sit in a lounge chair with a tropical drink in one hand and my iPod in the other.

But man, oh man was I driven crazy when I spotted more nasty bulkhead foot-flyers on the plane...why is this acceptable behavior from grown adults? And don't even get me started on the mother who let her 1-year-old baby crawl on the filthy carpet in front of the airplane lavatory...

So I saw a surgeon this week, and the lump I have in my groin is not a hernia, but some "unknown mass" that is causing me intense pain when I walk, sit, wear a belt, etc. Oh yay, now I get to have surgery to remove it. That is, once the almighty insurance company deigns to provide "authorization." The surgeon was kind enough to inform me of one possible side effect: a numb crotch that could persist for months after the operation, since there is a convergence of nerves right where the mass seems to be. Feh.

Philip is looking to purchase a new car, so we are currently dwelling in the little slice of Hell known as car shopping. Truly the most painful thing you can experience short of an event that causes great bodily harm. From the bait-and-switch of the Internet Sales Team at Pacific BMW, who e-mailed us a firm quote on the car we are looking for and then didn't ACTUALLY HAVE IT ON THE LOT, to the insanely low amounts that they want to give us on the trade-in, I am on the verge of screaming at the next person who asks me what options we would like. Or maybe it's the constant pain I am in from the hernia I seem to have developed in my abdomen, can't tell.

Thank you, "father yapping loudly on a cell phone while your son travels to other tables, pouring salt and sugar on them and smearing his sausage link on the vinyl-covered benches." You certainly made it a memorable breakfast at Twoheys in Alhambra this morning. Hope your brother's business successfully gets off the ground and that you enjoy your upcoming trip to Peru. I'm thrilled to know all the details.

California Vehicle Registration evaders - Northwest Edition. Spotted on the streets of LA: Oregon 701BNU, who has skillfully covered the expiration dates with an oversized license plate holder.

236VUW from Washington State likes to shop in Old Town Pasadena...wow, that's a long way from home...

...and grungy Oregon 429BYF seems to be a permanent resident of the bohemian neighborhood of Silver Lake.

More from the icky food arena: this nasty-looking mess is the Fiesta Chili Something-or-Other sandwich now on offer at Marie Callendars restaurants here in Southern California. How about the way that cheese melting off the sides reminds of a stringy hairdo or an old-fashioned wet mop? Yum!